That Daughter Of Yours


” That daughter of yours- she’s a quiet one, isn’t she? ” The 6th Grade teacher at Old Creek Elementary School said to Mr. and Mrs. Erbin at the last Parent- Teacher Conference” I don’t think I’ve heard her say more then four words in the entire time she’s been a student here. “

Mr and Mrs. Erbin looked at each other and before Mr. Erbin could open his mouth to reply Mrs. Erbin snapped, ” And whose side of the family do you think that problem came from? “

” Like I was the one responsible for wiring her brain.” Mr. Erbin pushed his face staight into his Wife’s face and they glared at each other.

” Really Mr. Erbin- nobody in this room had the sole responsibility for-” Mrs. Snodgrass wasn’t sure if she was repeating what she heard correctly so she said with a little hesitation ” for wiring Cynbel’s brain.”

Mrs. Erbin shrugged and looked up at the ceiling and smirked, and that one little gesture seemed to push Mr. Erbin straight into Angersville Population 1 where he became the Mayor upon arrival.

” We both had a hand in our daughters development Mrs. Snodgrass. We studied and observed, we took classes and tests we asked questions and attended more lectures until we were positive, confident that we could raise a healthy, intellectually superior child. And do you know what we have here?”

Mrs. Snodgrass was too polite to say what they had here.

” Cynbel eats bugs, she only takes a breath once every six hours and one of her eyes is permmantly shut. I’m sure that you’re  aware she won’t the touch the food on her plate unless it’s moving. Do you know what it’s like to have to sit next to your child and jiggle her plate so she’ll eat? “

” Go ahead and tell her who came up with that nifty little idea.” Mrs Erbin muttered.

” It worked, didn’t it? “

Mrs Snodgrass looked at both of the Erbin’s and shook her head- just a little.” Mr Erbin…we have the means to help your daughter -“

Mr. Erbin shouted, ” Our daughter is beyond help Mrs. Snodgrass because our daughter is like a science experiment gone horribly wrong. You must be able to see that.”

Mrs Erbin looked liked she was going to pick something up and hit her husband with it.” Anybody with eyes in their head can see that you insensitive fool. Go ahead and tell her whose project it was. “




inspired by the Soul Food Cafe Writing Prompt




28 thoughts on “That Daughter Of Yours

  1. Hi Lori,
    It’s suppose to be a ghost holding the baby.
    Here’s my secret, when I do these searches I just google death- photographs and customs.

    You’d be surprised WHAT comes up.

    And then of course I have to go through pages of stuff because most of it’s not what I’m looking for.



  2. “Mr. Erbin straight into Angersville Population 1 where he became the Mayor upon arrival.”

    Love it.

    I really like your last lines. You always seem to have a cool wrap up, and I think “ZING!”

    “Happy father’s day mother, happy mother’s day father…” and so on.


  3. Hi Tony

    I listen to hours and hours of those old radio shows at work. Shows like The Creaking Door or The Shadow, I love a Mystery, Inner Sanctum, The Mysterious Traveller- and all of those shows have that zinger at the end.

    I know that’s where my influences in style and content and ‘voice’ are coming from. And those Old Time Programs are a pretty cool place to ‘go to school’ if you ask me.

    From Radio to the blogosphere- stranger things have happened I’m sure.


  4. “Here’s my secret, when I do these searches I just google death- photographs and customs.”

    Oh sure, when you are not googling gummy bear porn.


  5. You got it Alasdair!

    I love Mr and Mrs Erbin…they don’t care how they look to the rest of the world, they don’t care that their kid is a botched science experiment- all they care about is being RIGHT.

    People like that slay me- ( in a good way 🙂 )


  6. You’ve captured my marriage to a T, including the genetic acciddent of a child. Which turned out to be MY fault ….luckily I was rid of the husband before that news came along!
    PS I want me a designer baby!


  7. Hi Jennifer!

    Are you kidding?
    Cynbel wasn’t the mutant here ( in my opinion ) it was her parents!
    Kid maybe odd, she maybe strange but you don’t see her running around talking smack ( okay she only said four words ) about HER family.

    Designer babies NO bad bad Jennifer NO DESIGNER BABIES!




  8. serious and joking….. We had bad seed disease but Zach will tell you are sooo right (we) his dad were the real mutants… Besides you inspired my next tee shirt idea…..I heart my genetic accident….. LOL
    My designer baby……
    One blue eye
    One green
    both female and male genitalia
    because I can’t decide if I want a boy or a girl
    wait maybe girl parts on top a C cup will work and boy parts on the bottom ( make the family proud) that way, shim would have the best of both worlds…
    hair …straight but thick ….. leave out the male pattern baldness gene please..
    what color? Dirty blonde with golden highlights
    Can we put in a trigger gene so we can change that later? You know according to season.
    6ft tall
    no diseases
    Um, I can see the menu again please?


  9. Hi Jennifer!

    Wow…YOU get to design the kids from now on.

    As long as they have your sense of humor and Zach’s Spirit we’ll all do muchas good.

    But I want a cat’s eye on my right and a dog’s orange eye for my left.

    and fangs…big big fangs- anything you can work on there would be appreciated.



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  11. Okay girls you are not supposed to live vicariously through your children’s genetic enhancements. You are supposed to allow the children to grow up fairly normal and then do whatever weird enhancements to themselves they want when they turn eighteen and meanwhile, if you want dog and cat eyes and multiple genitalia you are supposed to go get some nice cosmetic surgery done on yourself.

    The kid has to survive grammar school. You do not. Jeesh.


  12. Seems to me Anita, you’ve been getting me in trouble all over the internet! First we are cleaning up licked on gummy bears and now this! Max, it’s all her!
    What was that about you sitting in the back of the classroom? I sat next to the teacher. Innocently helping her grade papers. ( well, once it happened like that….once)


  13. Wow, you helped the teacher grade papers? Sure you did Jennifer and once I caught a fish AS BIG AS A WHALE in the creek behind my house
    What can I say about my behavior ? I am a practiced and skilled big Sister…now excuse me. I have to go over to Max’s and find a way to say Gummy Bear ( You know what ) on one of her posts.


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