Blitzing Reality

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We live on a very dangerous road.

It’s not dangerous because it’s poorly designed- it’s dangerous because it’s a short cut to the Mall and nothing is more dangerous then the ground between a Major Shopping Mall and a consumer.

So if someone isn’t jumping the curb with their monster sized SUV they’re almost hitting a kid or more likely running over someone’s cat or dog.

Like my pets for instance.

At the beginning of Summer I was outside getting my mail when my cat Blitzer sees me from across the street. He meows and bolts and just as before he gets to the middle of the street this car comes up the road and I’ll be darned.

He’s not speeding.

He has plenty of time to stop I think.

Wrong.

 I hear the engine rev up and this guy drives straight towards my cat.

Then when the driver sees me he slams on his breaks and pulls up to the curb and he looks embarrassed as he calls out the window, “Hey is that cat okay?”

I’m standing there thinking- what can I say?

Better luck next time?

And then I remember, I write stories at Owl Creek Bridge.I write about Devils and Demons, Witches and Curses and Psychos. I write about people who hide bodies in trunks with Christmas tree ornaments. I don’t know where the ideas come from I just know the inspiration for them can hit at the funniest times- and I’ve taught myself that when they do to pay attention.

“What?” I ask.

“That cat….the black one that ran in front of my car. Is it okay?”

I back up from the car and look over my shoulder at my house. “Cat?”

He points up towards my Cherry tree and says. “That cat. Is it okay?”

I look under my Cherry tree and Blitzer is sitting there with his tail sort of swishing from left to right and he’s got these bright yellow eyes that (thank you Jesus!) are glowing like crazy because of the way the sunlight is hitting them.

Then I back up and hit my mailbox and without turning away from the guy in the car start yelling for my Husband who isn’t at home, “Luis! Can you come here for a minute? “

“Lady that cat! The one sitting under the tree right behind you!”

I turn around and look at Blitzer who is licking his chops because its dinner time and I look back at the guy in the car and say, “Look, just go okay? This isn’t funny.”

This guy looks from me to Blitzer and then he reaches down and tries to start his car which was already running and then he drives away but before he reaches the end of the street I see him stop, he pulls over and he sits there for awhile before he drives off again.

 ” Wow, that was fun.”

I turn around and Blitzer has a bird wing in his mouth.I guess he had it stashed under the tree, or maybe he had it the entire time.

I’m still not sure about that. 

See, Blitzer is always dragging around parts of animals or chasing something through the bushes. He also has these nightmares and starts doing that weird cat scream when he’s all curled up at the foot of my bed.

Blitzer is sort of bonkers. My husband thinks we should see if they make anti-psychotic meds for cats. 

People.

Blitzer walks up to me and drops the wing at my feet and starts to purr.

The Little Devil.

I don’t know where he gets it from.

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amm

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39 thoughts on “Blitzing Reality

  1. Thank God Blitzer was safe. But most of my cats died because of accidents. I remember I cried like crazy when one of my cats, Zorro being crashed on eid celebration day. Also my other cats had the same fate. It was the saddest day ever…

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  2. Hi Dolly- I’m glad too because Blitzer is my other Cat’s best friend and they’re always together. In fact until Blitzer and his brothers came along as kittens just as Wolfie ( the infamous Insanity from my Insanity Jones stories ) was getting pretty sick and depressed because his older sisters had recently died.

    Hi Carol, those cards are VERY cool- I found them at the Vintage site- it’s listed on my blog roll under Creative Writing Resources ‘ Anita’s Favorite Clip Art’…thanks for dropping by.
    writing Resources

    Solnushka – it was one of my finest moments 🙂

    Hey Jolene, glad you stopped by – glad to see I put a smile on your face / post.
    amm

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  3. Anita Marie, you are one funny person. Interpret “funny’ however you like 🙂
    Here’s a curse for you to use next time: “When you die and go to Heaven, May God be a Cat”.

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  4. That’s the best one yet.

    Probably no surprise, but I love doing that type of stuff too. And I know what you mean about the way people drive. I live in a tourist area, and on a daily basis I see people pretending they know how to drive. It would be funny if it wasn’t so scary.

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  5. Now, Anita Marie, if Blitzer were a regular cat, I would be giving you my standard rant about keeping your cat indoors at all costs….

    However, I think in Blitzer’s case, if you kept him indoors all the time, you’d have green ooze sliding down the walls and swarms of flies.

    That being the case, perhaps you can get all your neighbors to petition your city to make your street a cul-de-sac (barricade at one end) to keep the Mall-rats from using your street as a short cut.

    BTW, congrats on #100!

    L.

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  6. “I don’t know where the ideas come from I just know the inspiration for them can hit at the funniest times- and I’ve taught myself that when they do to pay attention.” – it’s a talent that’s best not wasted, whatever the context.

    There’s a little something waiting for you over at my place … pop!

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  7. Hey Everyone,

    Thanks for reading this post- I’m not sure how it happened that today I came home from work and found a couple of little presents on my porch from Blitzer…but I think they were meant for YOU.

    Ha.

    amm

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  8. Blitzer is amazing. It always surprises me how cats are stupid enough to get into situations that could very well get them killed, but tough enough to survive.

    Awesome story.

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  9. Ahhh…! So this is Blitzer! He looks like the cat that saved my mum when she was a kid. A snake nearly bites her. but her cat managed to fight and the snake was defeated.

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  10. Pingback: Blitzing Springtime « Irregular Bones

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