Bentley The Bone Picker

 

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

Bentley Fremont always had a bone to pick with somebody, somewhere. He was always arguing, he just couldn’t help himself.

One year a co-worker of Bentley’s kept saying that the freight elevator was making a strange sound when it stopped on the third floor- she also insisted that the safety gates on each floor looked like they were hanging funny. Maybe they should get it looked at she told Bentley.

There was no real reason to not get it looked at. The company they worked for had a service contract with a company whose only job was to work on the freight elevator. Bentley told her, even though he could see exactly what she was talking about from a couple of dozen feet away from the elevator doors that she was right.

So Bentley opened his mouth and what came out was, “I’ve worked here for twenty years,”

“Good for you Bentley, but the gates look crooked and when the car stops-“

“It’s not doing anything new Suzy.” Bentley told her “I would have noticed.”

“Maybe it’s because you’ve been looking at it for 20 years that you have not noticed anything new. Maybe it’s worked its way sideways over time.  Who cares? Let’s just get it looked at.”

He winked at her and shook his head. “Nothing is wrong with it Suzy.”

A few days later when Suzy- who refused to use the elevator to ride on- was loading some boxes onto the car and as Bentley was walking on his way to his work station Suzy told him she had called the company to come in and take a look at the elevator. She was tired of just stacking things in the elevator and then walking up after it to unload it.

Bentley laughed at her shook his head and went up to the next floor.

He made sure he was alone in the hallway and then he pulled out his cellphone and called Moore’s Elevator Service and cancelled the service call request.

 

It happened an hour after Bentley cancelled the work order.

Suzy was unloading the elevator when the gate broke away from it’s track and came down on the top of Suzy’s head. She bit off part of her tongue and the teeth that did not break apart in her mouth were knocked out of her head.

She lived for about an hour after the accident.

 

Bentley went to Suzy’s funeral.

Her coffin was pink and it was trimmed in silver, her headstone was pink granite and it was not marked with her name.

It said:

Bye For Now

“ That’s weird.” Someone said at Bentley’s shoulder as they stood at Suzy’s graveside and watched the coffin being lowered into the ground.

And Bentley said, because he could not help but to argue with anything anyone said “No it’s not.”

 

It was right after the funeral when Bentley was getting into his car that he had his first door problem.

He had just gotten into his car and was about to pull the door closed when it slammed shut- it slammed hard enough to shake his car. He grabbed his steering wheel and said:

“That did NOT just happen.”

Harder to argue against but still there was the the problem he had with the door at the bank.

He walked through it and it slammed shut- which is something that those automatic doors never do- they might get stuck open or closed but they don’t rattle and then slam shut. The door at Bentley’s bank did and he wasn’t all the way through when it happened.

It’s a good thing those doors were made from safety glass the paramedics said as they were checking on Bentley.

 “Actually, “Bentley said “ I think I was far enough over the threshold, that’ why it wasn’t worse.”

It was like that for Bentley for the next two weeks- doors would slam shut on his face, or just after he walked through the doorway. His car door was the worst. He had bruises on his shoulder and his hip from that door.

“ You’re having the worst luck with doors Bentley.” His neighbor said the day after he got a black eye from one of the kitchen doors which had swung open all by itself.

“ Oh, I don’t  think so.” Bentley said.

“ Uh-huh his neighbor said “ whatever Bentley. But if anyone asked me I’d say doors don’t like you very much right now.”

If you knew Bentley and  heard him argue against the killer door theory that everyone else had at the moment, you’d think Bentley was arguing because that’s we Bentley did.

The thing of it is- this time Bentley wasn’t arguing just for the sake of arguing .

The doors weren’t trying to hurt him.

Suzy was.

Suzy was there the day of the funeral-standing next to his car in the dress her family had buried her in.

“ I’ve come back to get my revenge on you Bentley. I think I might just kill you. I’m thinking I’m going to like doing that an awful lot.”

Bentley stood there for a minute looking at her.

“ This is for real Bentley. I haven’t even gone to my grave yet. That’s how bad I want to get even with you.”

“ This is not for real.” Bentley told Suzy.

Suzy rolled her dead eyes up into her head and she said to herself, “ Jeeze.”

So Suzy had been there for each door attack- but Bentley wouldn’t admit to himself that a ghost was trying to kill him and the Ghost’s weapon of choice were doors.

Where there was a door, there was Suzy.

She was everywhere.

Finally Suzy showed up at work , she wasn’t wearing her funeral dress. She was wearing the black t-shirt and her beat up jeans and black converse shoes with the little yellow hearts on them that she had died in. She was drinking pop from red plastic cup and Bentley could even hear the ice crackling inside of it.

“ I’ve been here all morning Bentley and do you know what? There’s still something wrong with that elevator. It’s making the same sound that I heard  just before the gate crashed on my head. I don’t think they fixed it.”

“ Yes they did.” Bentley told her.

“ Couldn’t have.”

“ They fixed the gate.” Bentley told Suzy’s ghost.

“ But Bentley I said there was something wrong with the elevator. That’s why the gate was busted.  I think something was wrong with the car. You know that.”

“ Nothing is wrong with the elevator Suzy.”

“ If you say so.”

Bentley lifted the gate and stepped onto the elevator.

“ The elevator is working just fine Suzy, so why don’t you crawl into your grave and make the worms happy.”

” ‘kay.” she told Bentley.

He waved.

She waved back and as the elevator car went up Suzy’s ghost said, ” come on come on….”

The car clanked and hummed up to the third floor and just before the brakes caught hold Suzy saw the safety gates in front of her shake and then she hear something snap from above and the freight elevator car with a very surprised looking Bentley flashed by her.

” See you Bentley!” she called down the elevator shaft.

Suzy put her ear to the gate and smiled.

This time there was no argument from Bentley.

None at all.

Photo: A. M. Moscoso

One Night

One Night

I set out on a trip all by myself.

I did not have a map or a ticket I did not know where I was going.

I went alone.

And I stayed alone.

For awhile.

Towards the end of the trip I heard someone coming towards me-

And then I heard someone breathing

just around the corner from where I was was walking

all alone.

And then I stopped.

” Someone there? “

I asked.

No one answered.

” Hey!  Is someone there? ” I called a little louder.

The breathing stopped and the footsteps came towards me

from around the corner.

I closed my eyes tight and put one foot in front of the other and then I flew towards the breathing and the footsteps and the voices that cried out:

” What the hell was that? ” came the voice from behind me and then below me as I took to the darkness above

” What the Hell was that! “

Lost and Found

He had a scar on the back of his hand, it was “u” shaped and bone white and it itched whenever he sneezed. Bram Listerfield , who sneezed when he was scared, or angry or laughed  was always scratching the “ U” shaped scar on the back of his hand, he did it so often that he didn’t even realize he was doing it anymore.

And then one day he was at the Magnolia Mall trying to return  a radio that had only worked for about five minutes and cost him fifty dollars.

“ Look, “ he told the salesman “ I could have made a long distance phone call to a Country overseas  and talked for 5 minutes and it would have cost me less. Give me a break here, this thing was expensive.”

“ Well… you don’t have a receipt but give me a second. Let me see what I can do.”

The salesman took off and Bram was left at the counter  fretting over his lost money and the thought of getting another lemon of a radio in exchange when he looked down and expected to see his left hand working the scar on the back of his right hand.

His left hand was on the counter, and his right hand was next to it.

He picked his hand up and looked at the scar- it was bone white and the little red patch that his scratching caused wasn’t there.

Strange.

Bram turned his hand over, looked at his palm and turned it back over and looked at the scar and that’s when he noticed it for the first time- his fingers- they looked a little longer and thinner than the ones on his left hand.

He thought about this for a minute and wondered if maybe his left hand was swollen- he held his hands up side by side and shrugged. Maybe it was an old age thing he thought.

Then the salesman came out from the back room with a smile on his face and Bram figured he was going to get his money back forgot all about the hand thing until a week later.

There was a storm that night- one of those ongoing thunder and lightning storms that don’t happen very often in Seattle- storms in Seattle roll in and then break apart but this time it went on for hours and Bram who hated lightning storms ever since he had been electrocuted at work many years ago was stressed and ready for this act of nature to clear up realized his scar- which should have been surrounded by a welt from all the scratching Bram assumed he had been doing since the first crackle of lighting was

Bone white and the flesh around it a nice healthy pink.

Bram went into his bathroom, flicked the light switch on and held his hand up  and looked at it- just as he thought- there was something different about his hand.

The fingers on his right hand were longer, the nails neatly trimmed and the flesh on his hand was tanned.

He held his left hand up, his pale worn out hand and smiled at it- that was a hand that had built model airplanes in his youth  and had been worked harder when his right arm had been broken when he was sixteen.

He looked at his right hand and he knew for sure- no he was positive- that  pampered , coddled right hand with the Florida tan on it- and no “ U “ shaped bone what scar

That was not his hand.

So he wondered, as he flexed it and watched as the imposter hand responded to the message from Bram’s brain just a tad bit too slow – where was his own hand?

Now there’s a question not to many people have found themselves asking Bram thought to himself.

 

Bram tried to not do anything to draw attention to his right ( Ha!) hand.

He was afraid people would begin to notice, that they may ask questions, worse what if they thought he was some kind of freak? Because not only was this hand not his but one morning Bram woke up to find his left eye had been taken.

It was the same color, but it looked brighter than his right, younger maybe.

He sat on hard on the edge of his bathtub and screamed into his left hand because he wouldn’t put the right one anywhere near his body if he could help it. When he was finished he brushed his teeth, got dressed and went out to look for missing hand and his eye.

 

It took a month but he found his hand  on a man at the train station.

Bram, who never liked the idea of trains or train stations for no real reason,  thought on the day he was reunited with his hand that it would be a great idea to walk through the one down the street from where he caught his bus home.

He was halfway across the lobby when he saw the man, sitting on a bench and hanging at his side was Bram’s hand.

Bram didn’t know what to say.

He walked up to the man, cleared his throat and said “ I think you have something of mine.”

The man looked up at Bram and then he looked at Bram’s right arm and his eyes traveled down to Bram’s hand. “Well. That was easy…this time.”

 

The two men sat side by side on a bench in the middle of the Prefontaine Station and watched commuters and travelers running and walking to and from their gates. Some were smiling others were frowning and some of them wore dull flat blank expressions on their faces.

“ So what do you mean…it was easy this time?” Bram asked Jed- Jed being the man who now had Bram’s hand attached to his wrist.

“ About a month ago I was shaving and I noticed my ear- it was sitting wrong on the side of my head. It was bigger to. It took me a few days to figure it out. And then I got it, it wasn’t my ear. “ Jed touched his left ear. “ I mean, it was a shock you know? I’ve heard of people getting their kidney’s stolen and the like. But who the heck steals an ear and replaces it with another one ? Aliens? Psycho Doctors? Who? Can you answer me that?”

Bram shook his head.

“ So the short version is this- I was at a ball game and I’m going to my car when I see this guy, and he’s got my ear stuck to his head like it was no big thing. I mean, he didn’t look like he woke up one morning and found his ear missing. Come on, it freaked you out when you noticed your hand was gone, didn’t it?”

“ I’ll say.”

“ Well, I follow the guy to his house and the next day I come back as he’s leaving for work and I try to talk to him. He was in complete denial of course. I figure the shock was too much for him. I couldn’t reason with him. I couldn’t even get a word in edgewise. So I took matters into my own hands. If you get what I’m saying.”

“ I think I do.” Bram said.

“ Hey. It was my ear. MINE.”

Bram nodded. “ I’d say you handled it pretty good Jed. “

They both looked at each other and then they started to laugh.

 

It had been one of those home improvement accidents Bram and Jed told the Police and the Doctors, sure it looked weird- both of them getting their hands cut off on that table saw in Jed’s basement like that. But they had both watched the same show about making bookshelves and it had looked so easy.

They were sticking to Ikea Furniture  from now on they promised.

 

So Bram figured he could live with that imposter eye in his head after going through all the physical therapy and the endless questions about the saw and Jed and the both of them cutting their hands off but then one morning as he was walking out to his car he stepped out of his shoe.

He looked down at the foot in his black sock, he went back and stepped into his shoe and then he got into his car and instead of driving to work he drove straight to the hardware store.

Something About Opal Fotherby

 

Opal Fotherby couldn’t believe she was afraid of ghosts and doors that opened and shut by themselves and pale skinned people who wore black and only came out at night and smelled liked the mildew that grew on the walls in her basement

She couldn’t believe she was intimated by just the thought of traveling down unmarked roads that ran through and around abandoned towns and that she was terrified of wandering through dark rooms in abandoned houses.

She never told anyone she lived alone with three black cats and that wasn’t any food in her kitchen- she didn’t even have water or electricity in her small apartment.

It has been years and years

since

 she has

breathed

a

word

 to anyone.

Halloween Slideshow

[rockyou id=153421939&w=426&h=320]

Watched

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

Photo: A.M. Moscso

Wax Teeth

” Do you have Wax Teeth? ” the old man asked the cashier at the Halloween Megamart.

” Excuse me?” she asked as she touched her fingers to her lips.

That was the problem with working in a Halloween store- you had to dress up every single day and sometimes you forgot about the devil’s horns on your head or the pirate patch over your eye.

” Wax teeth, the ones that look like Vampire teeth. I’ve been instructed not to buy the was Ghoul teeth or the Ogre teeth, but specifically the Wax Vampire Teeth- the edible ones.”

” The edible ones. “

” Yes, the edible ones- mind you,  not the bubblegum ones, not the peppermint flavored ones but the Wax ones that you can chew into a wax ball the size of Barbie Doll’s head.”

” We don’t have those, I mean I think we sold them a long time ago. But now you can mold your own fangs and re-use them…like false teeth.”

” False fangs?” the Old Man said to himself.

” And then we have the hard candy fangs and glow in the dark teeth…”

” but not the wax ones…”

” Nope, we don’t have anything that will leave you with a mouth full of something the size of a doll’s head.”

” Well. I can’t say I’m disappointed to hear that. So let me see…” he opened his jacket and took a list from out of his front pocket ” what else I’m supposed to ask about. Oh here we go. Do you have Witch’s Costumes?”

” Sir, we have nothing but Witch’s costumes. ” she pointed to the wall behind her and the old man leaned forward and started to read the labels on the packages.

” Kissy Witch, Glamor Witch, Sassy Witch…my goodness. Are all of the costumes cut low…you know in the front?”

” Pretty much.”

” I see I see I see. Heavens. Well let’s hope we have a little more luck with with this one.”

He took a deep breath,  looked up from his list and winced. ” Werewolf  masks? “

” I think you’re in luck. On that wall in the back of the store we have Pirate Werewolves, London Werewolf, Psycho Werewolf and I think we still  have some Werewolf Wench masks- that one is popular with women. It comes with the Werewolf Wench costume.”

” You don’t say.”

” It looks great with boots or heels.”

” Well. I guess that’s the fashion now days-Sassy Witches and  Pirate Werewolves and the like.”

” Yep. It’s been that way for a while.”

” So if one wants to fit in during the festivities that’s the way to go.”

” Yeah.”

The old man shrugged. ” Well. That is the idea. Let have two sets of Vampire teeth-the ones you can make yourself and the glow in dark ones, let’s go with the Sassy Witch, The London Werewolf and if you have anything that could help me look like a Mad Scientist I think this could work.”

The cashier neatly stacked the costumes on the counter between them decorated with bats and palm sized walking brains. After she did that she went over to the accessories wall and started to pull little packages off the pegs and as she did that she mentioned different Halloween Parties that were opened to the public. They were family events she mentioned guessing that’s who he was buying all this stuff for.

She saw the Old Man writing something down in a little notebook with an actual pencil and she told him she had flyers and would put them into the bags. That way he could take his time chosing which ones to go.

 She bagged each costume seperately and when she was finished Old Man that there were no refunds on the costumes.

” You’ve been very helpful, ” he told her as he took his packages.

” Well you’re welcome and have a Happy Halloween.”

” Yes, well…here’s to hoping.”

He walked out of the store, down the street and turned the corner and waiting for him  at a bus stop was a tall thin man, a woman with long black hair and sitting on a bright green bench was another man with mismatched eyes-one was icy blue and the other was dark brown.

” How did you do?” the woman asked.

” I think this should do it. I think these will work. “

He handed them each a bag with dancing pumpkins on the front.

The man on the bench looked into his bag and looked up. ” London Werewolf.” he said

” It was either that or something called Psycho Werewolf. It came with a knife. Please, please don’t ask me why Marley.”

The thin man reached into his bag and took out the glow in the dark teeth and he asked, ” this is what Vampires wear now days?”

” I got expert advice in the matter Lorne.”

” Sassy Witch.” the woman said.

” I know Hester.”

” Sassy. Witch.” she said with her eyes closed.

” I know.” The old man said sorrowfully.

” Well.” said London Werewolf ” I’m willing to give it a try.

Lorne opened his mouth and his glow in the dark teeth smiled at them.

” Sassy. Witch.” Hester said again.

” Look. I’m a Mad Scientist. How amusing is that?” he asked the three of them as he reached into his bag and pulled out a little jar full of eyes bobbing in red liquid.

” Well. As long as we fit in that’s all that matters. ” Sassy mumbled darkly. “For one stupid night. I hate candy corn. Do you guys know that?”

The Mad Scientist ignored the dark cloud that was forming around Sassy’s head.

Marley pulled the Werewolf mask out of the bag and held it up and sighed. ” It’s a little obvious, isn’t it? I mean put this on and they can see you coming from a mile away.”

” What difference does it make Marley?” Hester asked ” We were bad at this the first time around. In fact at the end of the day we ended up becoming laughing stocks. Look at this stuff, will you? I mean really look at it.”

Hester grabbed Lorne’s bag turned it upside down and a black cape and pair of blue spectacles fell out and landed on the green bench. She put her hands on her hips and looked at her friends. ” Go on. Say something.”

” We were losers” Lorne sighed.

” Keep it coming guys.”

Marley shrugged, ” We never got into a fight we could win.”

Hester tapped the side of her nose and pointed at Marley”s crestfallen face.

” Stop this Hester.”

Hester looked at the old man and said one word. ” Benji.”

” Not Benjamin, but just…Benji.” she sneered.

” You are cruel Hester.” Marley said.

” No Marley. I am a Witch. And may I remind you, if it weren’t for me none of us would be here right now.”

The three of them looked at her and she shrugged.

” Let me refresh your memories which may be a little foggy. In case the three of you have forgotten we weren’t very good at doing the things we were supposed to do. In fact, I’d go as far as to say we were absolute failures in our given fields. I mean if I hear ‘ hung from your neck until you are dead’ one more time I am seriously going to lose what is left of my last nerve.”

” I got staked to the ground…” Lorne whispered ” my best friend thought he was doing me a favor by releasing my soul.”

” Shot.” Marley sadly said more to himself then anyone else ” by my own Father.”

” Burned in my lab…” Benji shook his head ” It wasn’t the greatest work but it was all I had after losing my family- they died during the Plague you know. I worked for years to bring them back…but like you said Hester. We were failures in our given fields.”

Hester looked at her friends and realized she had done what the experts had been trying to do for centuries. She with just a few words had killed what was left of her friends great though somewhat dark Spirits.

” Yeah well, it was bad. Like you’ve been saying for almost a month now Benji it’s only for one night. I mean one night where we can actually enjoy being who we are”

Hester looked down at the ground below her feet and kept them there.

” You would actually go along with this. ” Lorne asked her.

” Well.” she mumbled in reply. ” For one  night.. I guess it wouldn’t kill me.”

Marley  held the mask up to his own face and said with a little lift in his voice, ” London Werewolf.”

” Psycho Wolf…don’t forget. There’s such a thing as a  Pyscho Werewolf now.” Lorne said with admiration.

” Well  hey now. ” Marley said ” Look at this” he said tapping the coffin-shaped box in Lorne’s hand that held the fang making kit. “Wow. People make fangs on purpose now. Back in the old days having a set of those in your mouth could get your head chopped off”

” I suppose after all we’ve been through ” Benji said ” we’ve earned one night of fun .”

” I suppose- but these costumes Benji.” Hester argued.

“But Hes. London Werewolf..”

” You’re from Girvin Marley.”

” Yeah.” Lorne said, ” Yeah that’s true but this stuff is….”

” Freaking awesome.” Marely roared as he pulled the mask onto his head. ” I’m doing it. I am going for it. Hester you can either be yourself or you can be a little more and have some fun doing it. Come on. It’s just for one night. Let’s do it.”

” Be ourselves for one night.” she let the words swirl around her for a moment and she looked at her friends and told them, ” Okay I’m in. And who knows? “

They looked at her and she was relieved to see their eyes starting to burn a little brighter as the Sun started to fade and the stars started to shine,

 ” If we can blend in for one night, we may consider blending back into all of the others.”

….

 

 

 

 

 

Once Upon A Midnight

I belong to an on-line Writing Group

called

The Soul Food Cafe

and our

Halloween Blog is up.

We have writers from all age groups, from all over the world who will be contributing this year.

Stop by and check it out-

New posts appear daily

AT

Once Upon A Midnight

Get Your Time Killers Here!

 Ask The Magic Eight Ball of Horror A Question

HERE

Halloween Mah Jong…yes there is such a thing and the music is pretty cool too

HERE

For a Non-Music Version Go HERE

Look Out Mr Johnson…no not really…it’s the name of another game among several others

HERE

And if you want to do something fun that does not involve the internet

you could always make one of these- it’s a TARDIS cake-

find out how HERE

 

 

Cake By: Barbara Jo and Barbara May From Their Do It Myself Blog

 

                         

 

 

 

It Does Not Get Much Better Then This

 

Photograph(s) copyright Shaun O'Boyle

This very, very short story has given me nightmares and inspired me to write a few of them down and turn them into stories.

Here it is:

Thomas Bailey Aldrich wrote this circa 1870:

“A woman is sitting alone in a house. She knows she is alone in the whole world; every other living thing is dead.

The doorbell rings.”

Awesome

Bravo Thomas, Bravo!

Me And My Shadow

During the middle of the Summer

I was out taking pictures

at a cemetery.

 

I was followed.

 

And Watched.

For a little while.

a.m.

 

 

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

 

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

 

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

 

Grave Thoughts

 

Make your own gravestone! HERE

Epitaph from:

Digital Dream Door

Sand

Inspried By The SFC Prompt:

Footprints In The Sand

If I could walk

to the end of the world

I would find a hill to stand on

and I would

 watch the sunset.

 

I wonder.

Would the sky look the same

at the end of the world?

Would the air smell the same?

If I put my hands to my face and screamed would I sound the same?

 

If I could walk to

the end of the world

I would walk upon the dead ocean floors

and touch rocks full of bones

tombs

for creatures I knew

when they were covered with flesh

a long time ago

when the Sun was Yellow

and not red.

 

If I could walk to the end of the world

I’d walk in circles for miles and miles

and

I would leave my footprints there in the dusty remains

of my world

and

wonder if

someday, somebody

would know I once was.

Doors

Inspired by The Soul Food Cafe Prompt:

Personality of  A Front Door

Have you ever stood in a dark hallway in a strange building all alone with a flashlight that you found rolling around in the trunk of your car?

It worked fine when you first flicked the switch on and it worked fine when you were with your friends but it was not fine when you broke away from the group to check out those doors- those doors that were shut when you first pointed your flashlight in their direction.

But you were sure that with the last weak beam of light you saw one door ajar- and you were just as sure when you turned around and the last of the light died away you saw the rest of the doors standing wide open.

What kind of things, you thought to yourself, would chose to hide in the darkness- what kind of creature would wade through fetid water and live with the echoes of screaming rusted hinges that go on for ever and ever.

And what kind of monster, you thought to yourself, would stand next to those wide open doors, with the blackness streaming out-

And like it?

 

My Enduring Bones

I belong to an on-line writers group at The Soul Food Cafe

and one of our projects was to come up with stories and artwork based on

Poe’s

The Raven.  

I ended up with a little collection of  fun stories and  two interesting characters- Sunny Longyear and her friend Waldgrave Tillanghast. I liked them so much I think I’m going to re-write their adventures and start posting them here considering Halloween is just around the corner it seems like a fun idea.

So here is Part One

of

My

Enduring Bones

a series of adventures

 inspired by

the works of

Mr E.A. Poe

a.m.

There I was, standing alone in front of a door that was nailed shut from the inside.

What kind of nut job, I wondered as I poked my finger against one of the nails that had made its way to the outside of the door, would wall themselves up inside of a house?

Well.

I guess I was about to find out.

So I backed up and kicked at the door- hard- and no I didn’t expect it to do anything dramatic like fly open. I just wanted to give whatever was on the other side to – you know – run.

I must have kicked at it a half dozen times.

I’ll bet it wasn’t running though, I thought with each kick.

I’ll bet it was on the other side of the door laughing at me- and then I thought to myself:

What am I doing here-

I’m going to save Waldgrave-who just happens to be a ghost-  and right now I have to wonder why.  Because,  to be perfectly honest, I don’t really understand why I’m about to save a dead guy from something I that could be anything- anything with big teeth and knives.

Yeah. I’ll  whatever is on the other side of that door with Waldgrave is very handy with knives and meat hooks because that’s exactly the kind of luck I’ve had for my entire life.

And then it came to me:

 All I have to do is just turn around and walk back the way I came- right now one foot in front of the other and who would ever know?

 I could go back to my nice quiet life as a Funeral Director and wear my sensible dark suits with my black engineer boots ( hey, it’s not like anyone ever looks at my feet- trust me on that one) and in that life dead people are just that…

well

Most of the time.

It would be so easy I heard a voice say in my head  to just walk away.

I looked around and slammed my hand over my mouth, to keep from yelling because where the hell did that thought come from?

Give Waldgrave up to something called The Black House and walk away no- slink away like some slinky coward?

I’ll tell you where that thought came from-

it was either from the house or Waldgrave and I’m not sure which of those two things scared me more- that house getting into my head or Waldgrave trying to let go.

I point at the door and say, “It’s obvious you are not going to cooperate. “

Think, think, think I told myself.

I walked to one of the boarded up windows and pushed just a little.

It gave.

Good.

I took a deep breath and this time when I swung at the boards I followed through.

All the way through.

 

I’m standing all alone ( please let me be alone ) in this nasty dark house and all I can think to say is, ” Pizza Delivery. “

I roll my eyes up because from down the hall I can hear a familiar voice say,

” You know, people aren’t laughing with you Sunny, they’re mostly laughing at you. “

” Aren’t you supposed to be in a cemetery? ” I say to Waldgrave to keep him talking because I have no intentions of opening any of these doors unless I have too.

” There’s a Crypt in the basement- “

I follow his voice to a not so awful looking door- the only one that looks like it ever gets used and I  tap on it and say, before I open it, ” Are you decent? “

” Get it in here you stupid twit, we have a problem.”

Unlike the rest of the house this room is not nasty and dark, but it feel like it all the same. There are lit candles all over the room and I can sort of see that I’m in a library and that there’s a dead man sitting behind a giant desk with about a hundred pictures in little silver frames in front of him.

I don’t need to look to know they’re probably all of  the same person.

” You killed him, I think you scared him to death. He thought you were some woman…I think he murdered her. He wanted her to come for him but he was afraid she would come for him at the same time. He dreamed about her even when he was awake.”

I don’t have anything to say.

And then I think of something, ” Help me out here just a little  exactly where are you right now?  Picture, book or statue any idea? “

“Your lack of empathy leaves me speechless Sunny, it really does.”

” If only. ” I say to myself- but you know loud enough so that I can be sure Waldgrave can hear me.

” I’m not in a book.”

Waldgrave’s surprised sounding voice is coming from right behind me.

I look and there above desk on a shelf is a statue of some guy’s head. ” You know, I’m not sure how this thing with you works, but if you think I’m going to drag you around like that  you can forget it.”

” Look down. “

I do, right into the face of the dead man and he is looking back at me.

” Oh no.” I say

” Oh yes.” Says the dead man with Waldgrave’s voice.

” Hey. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to do that.”

” Hey. I’m pretty sure you’re right. ” Waldgrave is starting to sound a little hysterical.

Just as an FYI- hysertics are contagious because I don’t sound like I’m in full control of myself when I scream back: ” I thought you said before you could only take possession of inanimate objects.”

Waldgrave points at the dead man’s-well his face and shrieks  ” you can’t get much more inanimate then a corpse Sunny!”

” Well, damn Waldgrave get the hell out of there.” I yell at him.

” Gladly. But I can’t. I’ve been trying and guess what? I am  STUCK!”

I run over to the fireplace and grab a poker and when I turn around I tell Waldgrave ” Okay, don’t move.  I have an idea. “

Waldgrave isn’t in the mood to follow directions. Instead he  jumps up, runs around the desk and grabs me buy shoulders and shakes me hard- which makes me really angry and he says, like I haven’t heard it a million times already,

 ” I am trapped inside of a corpse!”

” I’m going to fix that Waldgrave. ” I swing the poker at Waldgraves newly acquired head and then…

he reaches out and grabs my wrist and shakes it until I drop the poker.

I’m sure I look just as confused as he does.

 With one hand pressed against his shoulder to steady him I reach slowly out for his neck with my other hand. Waldgrave flinches just a little but he figures out what it is I’m going to do and lifts his chin up 

 I put my fingers against his neck.

Then I put my hand on his chest and snap it back.

” You are in so much trouble Waldgrave. “

” Yes.” he says ” We are.”

 

It’s The Mash- The Monster Mash

Back in October of’65 ABC’s Shindig! broadcast their Halloween episode and showed a clip of the Monster Mash performed by Boris Karloff. The clip was lost somehow, but with scenes from that show that still remain Godzzla at youtube was able to assemble a music video of what it might have looked like.

Enjoy!

Is There Something There?

 

I have a notebook- a real with paper in it- where I keep stories that I find in the newspapers or magazines.I also like to write things in there like names of people and places that I find interesting .

This notebook is a to do list for my brain.

And

sometimes these odds and ends work their way into a story

and sometimes I just like to look and laugh.

I know it’s weird…but if you read my stuff can you honestly say you are surprised?

So, without further ado

Here’s a page from it- it includes a story I found today….

Need a hand? Man digging yard startled by specimen hand

By Associated Press

Story Published: Sep 18, 2009

NORTH EAST, Md. (AP) – A severed human hand has been unearthed from the yard of a Maryland home, but police say this is no whodunit.

Investigators believe it’s a decades-old medical school specimen left by a former resident.

Still, it was an odd discovery for the electrician who dug it up in the northeastern part of the state. It was muddy, but only the fingertips showed signs of decay.

Maryland State Police Trooper First Class Dave Feltman says the hand found Tuesday appeared to be surgically removed.

The son of a previous owner of the house tells police it was a souvenir he took home as a student at the University of Maryland’s medical school more than 50 years ago.

Police said they believe his account, but sent it to the state medical examiner as part of routine procedure.

 

This guy stole a hand from a lab? I would have gone for a brain or a heart…but a hand? Weird choice…

 

 

Suicidal Planet

By SETH BORENSTEIN AP Science Writer

Story Published: Aug 27, 2009 at 8:44 PM PDT

WASHINGTON (AP) – Astronomers have found what appears to be a gigantic suicidal planet.

The odd, fiery planet is so close to its star and so large that it is triggering tremendous plasma tides on the star. Those powerful tides are in turn warping the planet’s zippy less-than-a-day orbit around its star.

The result: an ever-closer tango of death, with the planet eventually spiraling into the star.

It’s a slow death. The planet WASP-18b has maybe a million years to live, said planet discoverer Coel Hellier, a professor of astrophysics at the Keele University in England. Hellier’s report on the suicidal planet is in Thursday’s issue of the journal Nature.

“It’s causing its own destruction by creating these tides,” Hellier said.

The star is called WASP-18 and the planet is WASP-18b because of the Wide Angle Search for Planets team that found them.

The planet circles a star that is in the constellation Phoenix and is about 325 light-years away from Earth, which means it is in our galactic neighborhood. A light-year is about 5.8 trillion miles.

The planet is 1.9 million miles from its star, 1/50th of the distance between Earth and the sun, our star. And because of that the temperature is about 3,800 degrees.

Its size – 10 times bigger than Jupiter – and its proximity to its star make it likely to die, Hellier said.

Think of how the distant moon pulls Earth’s oceans to form twice-daily tides. The effect the odd planet has on its star is thousands of times stronger, Hellier said. The star’s tidal bulge of plasma may extend hundreds of miles, he said.

Like most planets outside our solar system, this planet was not seen directly by a telescope. Astronomers found it by seeing dips in light from the star every time the planet came between the star and Earth.

So far astronomers have found more than 370 planets outside the solar system. This one is “yet another weird one in the exoplanet menagerie,” said planet specialist Alan Boss of the Carnegie Institution of Washington.

It’s so unusual to find a suicidal planet that University of Maryland astronomer Douglas Hamilton questioned whether there was another explanation. While it is likely that this is a suicidal planet, Hamilton said it is also possible that some basic physics calculations that all astronomers rely on could be dead wrong.

The answer will become apparent in less than a decade if the planet seems to be further in a death spiral, he said.

 

 Suicidal planets? Awesome idea. Why not killer planets? Insane Planets? Cannibal planets?

  

Story Updated: Aug 17, 2009 at 2:32 PM PDT

Mukilteo councilwoman earns dubious Internet award

By Associated Press

EVERETT, Wash. (AP) – Mukilteo Councilwoman Jennifer Gregerson earned a mention on the Cracked.com political satire site on a list of Six Places You Should Never Twitter From.

Showing up at No. 2 is Gregerson under the headline, “From an illegal city council meeting (in a bar).”

She made a post from Ivar’s Restaurant following the June 16 Mukilteo City Council meeting. She called it a “debriefing” after a majority of city council members showed up, creating a quorum.

Gregerson told The Everett Herald the experience taught her to create separate personal and council Twitter accounts and to be more careful about what she posts.

 

Yeah. Good FYI. If you’re going to Twitter about illegal council meetings in bars- do it on a PRIVATE Twitter account. It’s these sublte little twists that are good in story structures. They are FUNNY.

  

  

So, how will I use these little gems in stories?

Should  I use these little gems in stories?

I think I might…

 

 

a.m.

  

I Dare You

Wink

He winked at me from his table for one at The Fisherman’s Shack- The Shack is my favorite place to eat lunch or to buy a cold drink on those hot days when my bus is late.

 It’s some sort of law of nature.

 When it’s very hot or very cold your bus will always be over crowded and late.

 Anyway, I could have ignored the wink- it wasn’t one of those ‘hey baby’ winks and it wasn’t one of those winks really good looking people mindlessly hand out to ugly people – I don’t know why they do it exactly, it’s for practice I suppose. However, I must admit it’s pretty funny though when they do that to a blind person.

 So, I looked over my shoulder and to the next table and realized- yeah- this guy was winking at me, and along with the wink he was pointing out the window to the cross walk.

It was empty.

Thanks a lot Winking Guy, I thought to myself,  for trashing one entire second of my life.

I dug a piece of ice out of my drink and started to chase it around my table top with a straw and tried to remember how long it took to melt the last time I did this when I heard a little tap coming from Winking Man’s table and he winked at me again and this time he said,

“This will be much more fun to watch then the Ice Cube Death Race your running over there.”

“That cannot be so. “ I told him.

“Trust me on this- come on now- here I’ll prove it, what’s your least favorite color in the entire world? I mean if you could do away with one color what would it be?”

“Gold, it’s a kind of braggy color don’t you think? It just gets slapped onto the side of something and old whatever was there before has been improved a thousand times over- just for being gold colored. I hate that.”

“That’s very specific.”

“I suppose it is.”

I look down and my little ice racer is no more.

Darn- not only did I forget to time it- I liked that little chunk of ice, it had been shaped like a little cat’s head.

I was mourning the loss of the little cube when Winking Man cleared his throat, I looked up and he was looking at me and winking and from over his shoulder right there in the intersection I saw two gold cars at the stop light.

Winking Man asked me, “least favorite sound? “

The two gold cars are sitting there and I tell Winking Man, “One year I carved this amazing jack-o-lantern for Halloween. It took me hours. I even put little flashing lights in its eyes and mouth and I used chicken bones in spots where it looked like the pumpkin’s face had been peeled away. It was the best work I’d ever done. Well, later that evening I was handing candy out when I saw my pumpkin was gone and from the street I hear this sound…”

“Oh no. “

“Oh yes. I’ve hated that sound ever since. But do you know what I hate more? People who smash pumpkins for fun.”

Winking Man takes a little packet of sugar from the chrome holder on his table for one and he shakes from side to side and says, “That truly is a character flaw.”

And then the light turns green and as it does a truck- a big orange truck runs his red light and the two gold cars were gone in a haze of black and blue smoke and flames.

Winking Man tears open his little packet of sugar opens up his mouth and tosses the sparkling crystals in.

 He looks very pleased with himself.

I smile.

He smiles back.

“So what do you think?”

“That beats Ice Cube Races alright.” I admit.

“Indeed. “

“But do you know what is better then pulling silly tricks like that? “ I said pointing to the wreck in the middle of the street.

“No, I cannot say I do.”

I get up and go to Winking Man’s table and whisper in his ear “Putting rat poison into sugar packets.”

Something Wicked This Way….

 

Visit my friend Tony’s Blog- he’s going to be posting Halloween related material, plus he’s a great writer so you’re going to enjoy yourself.

I’m loving his Kickoff post because it deals with Halloween Music.

visit Tales At Twilight….and enjoy…

a.m.

Grave Thoughts Pt. 2

 

East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia

 

Today I was waiting for my bus when

a Medical Examiners Truck pulls up to the traffic light and stops.

It was a white truck with black lettering.

Very nifty.

I wondered if anyone was in the back of it.

Actually I knew there wasn’t.

 

I sighed.

 

And then I saw this crow come swooping down the middle of the street-

and then it landed

right on top of the

Medical Examiners Truck.

 

Hey now- I thought to myself- that is very nifty.

 

The crow took off just as the light turned green.

 

I didn’t see which way it went.

 

a.m.

 

Family Reunion

I blinked and looked into my mirror.

 That wasn’t my face- it couldn’t be.

It was round and pleasant looking. That could not be my face. It was my Mom’s face, no wait it was my Grandmother’s face.

 I pushed my nose up to the glass and took a closer look.

 No doubt about it- that was the face of someone who bought Girl Scout Cookies even though she never ate them or would let you take her place at the head of the checkout line at the Grocery Store even though you had a cart full of groceries and she only had a can of soup and a magazine and a package of strawberry filled Happy Doodles just because it looked like you were having a rough day.

 That was the face of someone kind and patient, that’s who that face belonged too.

 I couldn’t believe it- is this the face I was going to take into my old age? This was the face people would talk to when they wanted spare change or free babysitting or they needed a home for that kitten they took from the box in front of the Laundromat without thinking what it meant to bring a stray kitten home.

 I reached for some black eyeliner, dark red lipstick and did my face up. Then I pulled my hair back and tied it into a pony tail and took another look. Drats. There she was, my Grandma smiling patiently at me from the mirror and that face was wondering when I was going to give up this silly attempt to escape my own skin.

 Oh brother, oh man, this was not good this face was nice to look at, it wasn’t intimidating that’s right, people would be looking me right in the eye from now on and smiling and probably pinching my old lady cheek and wanting to sit next to me on the train and things like that. If you asked, I’ll bet people would be able to describe it line by line, rounded chin by rounded cheeks and oh no- laugh lines at the corner of my eyes? Where did those come from?

 I rested my forehead against the glass and then I looked up and met my own reflection and asked it, “Where the Hell did you come from? “

 And then from inside of my own head and from out of my own mouth I heard my Grandmother’s voice say,

 “Funny you should put it that way…”

 

 

 

Rotting Corpses And Me

I’ve been told

that

some

people get e-mails with pictures of

fluffy cats

and

flowers

and sometimes even trees attatched to them.

 

I get pictures like the one below.

LOTS OF THEM.

 

FYI

 

I like fluffy cats.

LIVE ONES

thank you very much.

 

Arranged

Photo By: Siilur

“My Mother wants WHAT on her headstone?” Esme asked the Funeral Director.

The Funeral Director, who had the misfortune of being named Vladimir  Petgrave, looked down on file in front of him and said

” Queen of The Zombies. “

Mr. Petgrave folded his hands together and tried, very successfully to not blink, twitch a muscle in his face or to look as if he were arranging a funeral for what could possibly be the most insane family to lay to rest  a loved one in the 100 plus years of  this Funeral Home and at that precise moment in time he was sure that was exactly what he was doing.

Esme sat back in her chair and then she leaned forward suddenly.

Vladimir almost pushed his own chair back but did not.

” No. She can’t have that. Absolutely not.”

Vlad found his feet firmly planted on the ground again and he looked straight at Esme and said, ” Yes she can Mrs. Stroud. In fact, she already has. The headstone has already been delivered and after the service it’s going to be set in place. It’s in your Mother’s Pre-Arranged Plan.”

” Well, bless her heart for being so thorough. Mr. Petgrave, do you know what my Mother collected?”

Vlad considered that and then bit his tongue and shook his head to keep from saying exactly what he thought.

” She collected Pez dispensers. Do you know what those are?”

Esme didn’t wait for his answer.

 ” Pez Dispensers are little plastic toys that dispense candy. You get the get candy by pulling the toy’s head back. The candy pops out of it’s neck  and you eat it. My Mother owned thousands of those things. I don’t mean that figuratively. I mean that literally. Do you know how I know that? She had them all numbered.”

Esme folded her arms against her chest. ” So, how soon can I get another headstone?”

” I can’t go against the final wishes of a woman who liked to eat candy that you get  out of  a toys neck.”

” She had a three-legged cat. Do you know what happened to its fourth leg? It attacked a fireman who was putting out a brush fire that started in my Mother’s front yard on the Fourth of July. When they pulled it off, which I thought was a time waster and they should have just used an ax and chopped that darn animal off of him. That vicious little beast was holding on to that man’s leg so tightly that  it’s leg got stuck in the Fireman’s boot  and when they pulled it off it broke in so many places it wasn’t worth saving.”

Esme said, ‘” Do you know what its name was.”

Mr. Petgrave stared back at her.

” It’s name was Itsy Bitsy. “

” I see.”

” So, what choices do I have for anothe headstone? “

” You don’t. ” Vladimir said.

” My Mother was some sweet old eccentric woman Mr Petgrave. Don’t think that for a single minute. Do you know what she did for a living?”

Vlad shook his head.

” She traded in curios. She went around the world looking for dead mutant animals and dead deformed  people and then she stuffed and sold them to roadside freak shows and gas stations in the middle of nowhere. Her curious weren’t fake Mr. Petgrave they were real. That’s what my Mother did for a living. What may I ask did your mother do for a living?”

” She was a librarian.”

” Yeah.”

” Mrs. Stroud, does it really surprise you that your mother wanted this carved on her headstone?”

” No. What surprises me is that it doesn’t light up and make haunted house noises when you walk by.”

Vlad took a deep breath, looked up and tried to show no fear.

” Oh bloody hell- she did not.”

Esme stood up. ” Well. I can see this is going to go nowhere.  We suffered through the weirdness that is our Mother  for our entire lives and I guess the way to look at the situation now is that we will never have to suffer through her or her weirdness ever again.”

Esme pulled her oatmeal colored jacket off of the back of her chair and put it on over her simple white dress belted at the waist with a simple tan belt and she reached for her functional purse which was sitting on Mr. Petgrave’s desk.

They went over small details about the service as they stood  and as Mr. Petgrave opened the door for Mrs. Stroud and they were met out in the hall by- he could think of her by no other name- The Zombie Queen’s Family.

They all wore the same colorless clothes, and they all wore the same colorless expression on their faces and after promising them all quietly that he would be waiting for them at 1:00 the next day Mr. Petgrave turned back into his office. He went to his desk and sat down and looked down at Funeral arrangement Plan for Mrs. Stroud’s mother and thought to himself:

How funny, she’s going to be buried two rows down from a man who insisted that in life he had been a Vampire.

Mr. Petgrave had thought for certain, at one point,  the man had not been a Vampire. Now he had to reconsider his position.  After all, Mr. Petgrave knew, for a fact that at 1:30 the next day he was going to bury

The Queen Of The Zombies.

 

Grave Thoughts

 

 

Not to long ago I used to do THIS  for a living:

Yes.

For Real.

 

 

 

Me, Betsy and The Church Zombie

This isn’t a horror story- it’s not even a scary story.

But if you wonder how it was that I became the writer I am today- and why I chose to write the stories I do it

actually explains a lot.

So let’s begin with

a little snapshot from my life

I’ve titled:

Me, Betsy and The Church Zombie

 Clipart By: Ben Blogged  

When I was a kid my favorite TV show was called Nightmare Theatre-

 it was at the Theatre I learned about all things Horror- and one year when I was about 7 years old, and it was just before Easter I learned all about Zombies.

 Me and my friend Betsy had our sleepover at my house because I knew where my parents had stashed the Easter Basket Candy- look, horror movies just work more if you can mix Jelly Beans in with Jiffy Pop- freshly popped on your stove- top try it sometime-.

So as usual me and Betsy are out of our minds with excitement over the movies and we kept getting sent down to the gym which also served as our school’s cafeteria for ” Quiet Time ” for talking loud in class.

The Zombie incident happened in the early 1970’s and our school was  built in 1905 so our gym was actually a basement. It looked like a gym but no matter how much light they pumped into that room it was always dark.

 

John B Allen- Seattle WA 1905- I was a student there- 66 years later!

Well, on one of our many trips to ” Quiet Time ” me and Betsy would sit down in that gym, in the half light and talk all about Zombies. Now, I have to explain why exactly it was me and Betsy spent a lot of time in that basement together for talking in class.

First of all, we did talk a lot about Monsters, but we had to talk loud- or mostly I had to talk loud because my friend was going deaf. In fact by the time we were nine she was completely deaf. At any rate, Betsy was just starting to adjust to her hearing loss and hadn’t caught onto things like lip reading or sign, so if you said something to her you had to make sure you said it loud so she got it the first time or you had to say it a bunch of times- which made Betsy cry because she felt ‘dumb’.

Look, Betsy was wearing leg braces and she had a wandering left eye, she didn’t need to feel ‘dumb’ on top of that:

So I talked loud.

All of the time

And we were always getting into trouble for it.

All of the time.

Oh don’t feel sorry for us  we got used to getting into trouble for not using ‘soft voices’  and sometimes, because we were on the honor system, we were supposed to take ourselves to the basement and check in. Most of the time we just went out to the playground for 20 minutes and then took ourselves back to class.

Well, Nightmare Theatre did some sort of Zombie Fest and by Easter Sunday Betsy and I were all about Zombies- where did they come from? Did they have stinky breath? How come when they ran their heads didn’t fall off?

We even went up to my unfinished attic and drew them all over the exposed ceiling joists.

And then we had to go to Church – for Easter Mass.

It’s not like this ends bad for me and Betsy.

We were sitting there listening to a story about dead people coming back to life and a story about an empty tomb and crying women-

So I look over at Betsy and she’s already shaking her head.

 I am already nodding.

And she looks confused- I knew that look, she was trying to figure out if I had said something so to get my point across I made what we called ” Zombie Arms ” ( you know how Zombies walked with their arms straight out? Those were Zombie Arms.)

Betsy, to clarify things made Zombie arms and went a little slack jawed.

I nodd.

She shakes her head in disbelief.

” Yeah- huh ” I stage whisper.

” Jesus was a Zombie?” she asks- you know loud.

And to make sure my friend can hear me I say, ” yeah and he’s coming back- today “

You know, I’m not sure if it was really that quiet in that huge Church on the day Betsy and I dropped to the floor and crawled up the side aisle to escape the Zombies, but that’s the way I remember it.

And to this day I have this theory.

I think that me and Betsy could go through our entire lives committing one sin after another because I’ll bet to this very day everyone in the Church that day are still praying for our Souls.

I know I do.

And here ends the story about

 Me, Betsy and The Church Zombie

 

 photo by: Anodyne

Halloween Suggestion From AOCB

 

 

 

 

 

Pic from Halloween dot co dot UK

This site is AWESOME

check it out.

I’m not sure if they’re going to update it for 2009, what they have from 2008 is pretty nifty.

Grave Thought Of The Day

Make your own gravestone!

Epitaph

 From

Funny Stones To Tickle Your Funny Bones

Lonelee and Faraway

 

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

 

Her name is Lonelee Darrow and the man walking next to her is called Faraway  Braine.

Strange name or no name- it doesn’t really matter because what matters here is that Lonelee and the man named Faraway are walking down towards the Water Front  to a  store that sells Salt Water Taffy and little bars of clear soap with Scorpions inside – they sell postcards too.

” I don’t think this is a very good idea ” he tells her.

” Well. I do. “

” There must be an easier way for you to make a few dollars Lonelee.”

She stops and jabs her finger into his chest. ” Yeah. Well, it won’t be your few dollars. And those are the sweetest bills in the entire Universe right now.”

He picks up his pace and pulls ahead of her. ” You are one bad tempered woman Lonelee.”

” I told you not to push me Faraway. I’m betting you this won’t work and you have to argue. That’s all you ever do. Whine and argue. You just can’t admit when you are wrong.”

” Ha. I knew I was wrong the minute I said hello to you.”

” Bite me.”

They are still arguing when they get to the Shop on the Pier with the Scorpions in embedded in the bars of soap and Jars of Salt Water Taffy. They quiet down just a little as they pass by the racks of postcards and then they start to raise their voices again when they get to the back of the store where there  is a woman in a glass case.

In her plaster hand are a bunch of yellow cards.

” Ask her. “

” Fine ” Faraway says. ” Fine. I’ll do it.”

” Go ahead. “

” Okay.”

” Anytime Faraway.”

” Are Ghosts for real?” He asks the woman in the glass case.

” Feed her some silver Faraway.”

Faraway reaches into his pocket and pulls out some change. He drops it into the coin slot and right after he does he and Lonelee can hear gears begin to grind  and then there’s a click and the Woman In The Glass Case moves her hand towards them and drops a little yellow card on the table in front of her.

They look down and read:

You Will Have Good Luck In The Winter

” Oooh she’s good Faraway.”

” I’m telling you, yesterday I asked her the same question and she answered it.”

” She told you that ghosts are for real.”

” Yes she did. “

Lonelee holds her hand out and Faraway gives her some coins.

” Okay. I’ve got a question. “

The Woman waits patiently in her case and Lonelee asks before she gives over her change, ” Are there ghosts here right now?”

Your Confidence Will Lead You On

” We came all the way down here for this?  Are you kidding me? I hope that at least the Taffy is good because you’re buying and you’re buying a lot of it. “

Lonelee is walking up the aisle towards the candy shelves and she yells over her shoulder. ” Let’s go Faraway. “

Faraway buys the Taffy and after he does Lonelee sweeps the bag up off the counter. ” I told you. Ghosts are not for real. Fortune Tellers aren’t for real either and the ones in glass cases  are for sure not real. You shouldn’t have bet me Faraway. I always win. You should know that by now.”

She  goes to the door and pushes it open and lets Faraway walks out first and Lonelee follows him.

 As  they make their way back up the street Lonlee is looking up into the bright blue sky and shading her eyes from the sun and then she asks  Faraway  impatienly, ” Do you remember where it was we left the ship?”

 

It Is About That Time Of The Year

It is about that time of the the year again!

This is about the time of the year when I spend more time here at my Bridge  getting myself into the Halloween Spirit.

Check back every few  days to see what I’ve dug up to make Halloween a bit more fun for us all.

More Later and….

See You Around!

a.m.m.

And Whatever Walks There

Photograph(s) copyright Shaun O’Boyle  

Over the week I watched some shows as well as a couple of movies about abandoned insane asylums.

One  of my favorite shows is called Ghost Adventures where the investigators are running around ” screaming did you see that, did you see that” ( no, and I doubt if they did either, being that most of the action takes place in the dark ) during the course of their investigations.

Anyway.

Ghost Adventures is always a good watch and I enjoyed watching them do their build up  (their interviews with witnesses are great, they just open the mic and go for it ) to the big night when they would be locked down in the haunted asylum– which as I’ve already mentioned was my topic of the week.

But as I watched and- make no mistake- I enjoyed the stories, it did make me feel bad for the ‘ghosts’ who were supposed to haunt these places- because in the story- be it a ghost hunter show, or a movie- is the not so subtle message that if you were mentally ill in life you’re going to be in the after life as well.

I would argue that maybe– if you were to not head down to the morgue in these places to look for ghosts ( I’ve worked in morgues, mostly I might do some cleaning or paperwork- and they are BORING BORING PLACES ) and really thought about it you might realize that you’re in a building where some weird things are happening and all that is actually in the room with you is…

you

and the room itself.

You might come to the conclusion that maybe Shirley Jackson is right- maybe some buildings are not sane and what walks in them doesn’t walk alone-

not now anyway.

Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more. Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.”

Abandoned NJ Psychiatric Hospital

Mmm…Mmm…BOO!I Mean Good

click the pictures to link up to the recipe sites

This is a Thorax Cake.

If you keep in mind it’s not supposed to look pretty,

 you might want to give it a try.

Yum. Yum.

However if you think that’s over the top you could try serving this up as a snack:

Oh please…I’m just kidding but check the link out anyways.

Next…

Lady Fingers

WITH

Dipping Sauce…

of course.

So there you go, some treats for some fine

Halloween

DIE-ning…

next post-

Movie Screamings- I mean movies for you to  screen

Till then…

a.m.

Rik and His Goldfish

What a story…

this is the kind of whopper you tell when you REALLY need to explain why you couldn’t do something you SWORE on your Mother’s ( who is NOT DEAD ) grave that you would do.

Enjoy

 

 

Is Anybody There?

I’m not sure if the person who made this intended for this piece to look ‘haunted’

but it does

Check it out.

Mad Love

A Macabre Tale of Love

Photograph(s) copyright Shaun O’Boyle

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they  were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

 When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, “Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you
saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Edna replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?”

Photograph(s) copyright Shaun O’Boyle