I blinked and looked into my mirror.
That wasn’t my face- it couldn’t be.
It was round and pleasant looking. That could not be my face. It was my Mom’s face, no wait it was my Grandmother’s face.
I pushed my nose up to the glass and took a closer look.
No doubt about it- that was the face of someone who bought Girl Scout Cookies even though she never ate them or would let you take her place at the head of the checkout line at the Grocery Store even though you had a cart full of groceries and she only had a can of soup and a magazine and a package of strawberry filled Happy Doodles just because it looked like you were having a rough day.
That was the face of someone kind and patient, that’s who that face belonged too.
I couldn’t believe it- is this the face I was going to take into my old age? This was the face people would talk to when they wanted spare change or free babysitting or they needed a home for that kitten they took from the box in front of the Laundromat without thinking what it meant to bring a stray kitten home.
I reached for some black eyeliner, dark red lipstick and did my face up. Then I pulled my hair back and tied it into a pony tail and took another look. Drats. There she was, my Grandma smiling patiently at me from the mirror and that face was wondering when I was going to give up this silly attempt to escape my own skin.
Oh brother, oh man, this was not good this face was nice to look at, it wasn’t intimidating that’s right, people would be looking me right in the eye from now on and smiling and probably pinching my old lady cheek and wanting to sit next to me on the train and things like that. If you asked, I’ll bet people would be able to describe it line by line, rounded chin by rounded cheeks and oh no- laugh lines at the corner of my eyes? Where did those come from?
I rested my forehead against the glass and then I looked up and met my own reflection and asked it, “Where the Hell did you come from? “
And then from inside of my own head and from out of my own mouth I heard my Grandmother’s voice say,
“Funny you should put it that way…”