She Was Not Alive

There were three of them in the car that Halloween Night when Mundy Selkirk turned up on Latona Road.

She was walking into town and they were driving out of town and had they not turned around and picked her up the Henshaw’s Party would not have been short a Pirate, a French Maid and a Zombie for the first part of their party. But the fact is they did turn around because they saw Mundy Selkirk  in a Mourning Dress and carrying a the knife she killed her family with over 100 years ago right there in Burnstone out at the Selkirk farmhouse.

” That is the best Mundy Selkirk costume I have ever seen ” the French Maid ( Lee Bressler ) screamed at the top of her lungs ” turn around now!”

The Pirate ( David Lindall ) said ” no ” but he did turn around because the Zombie ( Lister ) was his older brother and  he was agreeing with Lee. So at that point he knew that nobody in the car was listening to him.

They pulled up along side Mundy Selkirk, but she was not as pale and ghostly looking as the ten or so other Mundy Selkirk’s they’d already run into on their way to the Henshaw’s. This Mundy was a little dusty and sweaty looking, she looked annoyed when they signaled for her to stop.

” What?” she shouted at them

” That is the best Mundy Selkirk costume ever.”  Lee said enthusiastically. ” Where did you get it from?”

Mundy stopped and glared into the car. ” My Mother made it for me.”

” Your Mother is cool.” Lister told her.

Mundy seemed to consider what she had just heard Lister say. ” I suppose so.”

” Look, we can give you a ride into town if you want. It’s not a big deal. “

” Well. It would save me some time. I have to get back into town, I don’t want to be late.”

Mundy got into the back seat with Lister and as she slid into the car she handed Lister her knife. ” Watch yourself it’s sharp.” She told him.

” You’re taking a real knife to a party?”

” Well. Yes. ” She said slowly.

The ride into town was short but on that short ride they learned that this Mundy Selkirk liked to read poetry, she played the piano and she had a rose garden.

” So what is your interest in Mundy Selkirk?” David asked from the front seat. ” Most people who are into Mundy Selkirk are into the goth thing and it sounds like you’re into the, I don’t know flower thing.”

” The Goth thing?” Mundy asked

” Yeah, you know, they’re into vampires and…”

“Vampires?” Mundy echoed.

” Well. Some of them think they’re real and-“

” There are people out there who believe in Vampires and ress up like, M-“

” Yep. And they are into the Vampire thing in a very big way.”

” Mundy Selkirk was not a Vampire.”

” Who knows? ” Lee said with a laugh.  ” They said all of her victims had been drained of their blood. “

” You don’t think that the fact she cut their throats had something to do with that, do you?” Mundy Selkirk asked.

” Well, what happened to it then? All of that blood…”

” Took a very long time to clean up, but it was days before anyone knew something had happened at the House. Mundy had all the time in the world to do what she had to do.”

Mundy tapped the back of David’s headrest with her knife. ” You can let me out here. I’m going to the Bitterman’s House. Honestly. Mundy Selkirk a vampire.”

” So what do you think happened to the real Mundy Selkirk? ” Lee asked Mundy.

” They found her in the woods. ” Mundy told her.

” Well. Yes. But what do you think killed her?”

” She was not alive. ” Mundy said, ” and she hadn’t been for a very long time- that’s all I know.”

David watched Mundy walk up to the Bitterman’s B&B, they hosted a Halloween Party there for the guests every Halloween. The Bitterman party had nothing to do with Mundy Selkirk, Bitterman’s back in the day had been a Funeral Parlor.

As Mundy made her way up the walk, swinging her knife from side to side Lister could see the heavy white thread running up the back of Mundy Selkirk’s dress- that was a weird touch Lister thought.

That’s what they did in funeral homes he had learned a few years ago at the Bitterman’s Halloween Party a few years ago-  some funeral directors cut the clothes in the back to fit them on to the corpses and then they sewed them up the back with heavy thread. 

They weren’t tailors so Lister imagined it looked just like the back of Mundy Selkirk’s dress- the stitches were loose and the fabric was bunched up in places up and down her spine.

Just then she turned and waved as they pulled away from the curb, she was waving goodbye with her knife.

And she was smiling.


October Skeletons


What would you do about  Halloween if your name was October Skeletons?

Would you celebrate Halloween? Hide from Halloween? Would you spend each day of the year leading up to Halloween cursing your Mortician Father and Science Teacher Mother for not only keeping that weird name but naming you October to boot?

Well. October did none of those things because October Skeletons was a very practical man.

He worked as a baker and read history books and only bought things when they were on sale.

The only jokes October knew were the ones that were printed on paper place mats at one of three diners he ate at when he did eat out. And I should probably mention that he really liked those jokes and told them in such a way that people actually laughed at them.

So just before Halloween October’s friends at the Bakery started to ask him what his plans for Halloween were, and he told them like he told them every year. ” I just don’t have the heart to celebrate Halloween. My Parents were big on it, they were married on Halloween you know, my Mom would throw these big parties for Halloween and people would dress up and play games. It was grand. She was grand. Both of them were exceptional people and once they passed on well…but like I said. I just don’t have the heart to do anything for it.”

This year, October’s friends at the Bakery insisted that this year he was going to Lissie Kade’s Halloween party with the rest of them. He was going to dress up and eat food that had been shaped into body parts and hand out candy at the door to trick or treaters.

They told him that there were going to be no if and or buts or stories about missing his parents or stories or how empty his life was without his Grandparents who had traveled in sideshows and worked as Magicians and how he couldn’t really have fun the way he used to without  his mortician Aunt and grave digging uncles,


as October always said-

he just didn’t have the heart to.

” Oh come on October, they sound like they were great. ” they said to him as they got ready to start the days baking ” but they’d want you to have fun. Right?”

” Of course they would. But I counted on them for that and now…”

Ramsey Mathis is October’s best friend and this time he walked up to his friend, grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him hard, ” You are going to go to this party, you are going to have fun and nobody wants to hear that you…”

” I told you, ” October said as he pulled his friend’s hand from his shoulder and put it on the center of his chest. ” I  do not have the heart for it.”

Grave Matters

Did you know jack-o’-lanterns were originally made from turnips?

Its true.

According to the US Census there were no known Zombies living in

Skull Creek, Nebraska


Another dream of mine is crushed.

Halloween Rules To Live By


Halloween On Line Dot Com

Top 10 Houses to Avoid while Trick-or-Treating

10. Any house that seems to be imploding into a hole in the ground.

9. Any house made of gingerbread.

8. Any house that has ornamental lawn Hell Hounds.

7. Any house whose only entrance is through the basement.

6. Any house where all the windows are glowing with eerie green light.

5. Any house that keeps growling, “Get out”

4. Any house where the trophy animal heads on the walls are talking.

3. Any house that has a bloody wood chipper prominently displayed in the front yard.

2. Any house with a yard full of statues of people in odd running poses.And the number 1 house to avoid…

1. Any house that wasn’t there a couple of seconds ago.

This is a Coffin you can be buried in

From BBC Nottingham-Top Ten Crazy Coffins


This is a Coffin you can make out of cake- you can eat it:

From TLC Cooking HERE


1 loaf (16 ounces) pound cake, thawed if frozen
4 graham crackers
1 container (1 pound) caramel frosting
1/2 pound assorted Halloween candies
5 to 10 gummy worms
1 cup chocolate cookie crumbs


  1. Cut cake loaf to resemble coffin by cutting 1-inch triangle from 1 corner of cake. Cut opposite corner to match; this will be the top end of coffin. Cut long, narrow triangles (1X4-inches) off bottom corners to form bottom end.
  2. Slice 1/2-inch layer off top of cake horizontally to form lid; set aside. Leaving 1/2-inch border, cut around inside edge of cake and scoop out some of interior. Cut graham crackers to fit onto cake sides; use frosting to attach graham cracker “boards” to outer sides of cake. Frost top of cake, if desired.
  3. Fill inside of cake with candy and gummy worms, allowing some to spill out over edges. Set lid on cake at slight angle.


Cake looks great atop chocolate cookie crumbs, on a wooden cutting board, with a small spoon as a shovel in a pile of “dirt” crumbs next to coffin.

Devlin Marsh’s Wife

” Why does Devlin Marsh’s wife  hang pictures of dead people on her walls?”

There are pictures of people in laying in coffins or sitting in chairs and they are surrounded by flowers and mourners and in one a dead girl,  her eyes flat and dull stares at you from forever.

I think Devilin’s wife is  named LaVerne, but I could be wrong.

I have never asked and most people don’t want to know about Devlin Marsh’s wife who came into the world on a night where a storm tore through her home town and the lighting strikes almost burned the hospital she was born in to the ground and after Devlin’s wife grew up most people wished it had.

Devlin Marsh’s wife, whose name could be LaVerne has pictures of old people and young people dressed for the grave hanging from the walls in her hallways and sewing room, in her sitting room and there is even one hanging in her pantry in a heavy silver frame where the dead man in the faded picture  looks all day at the food Devlin and (I think her name is) LaVerne will eat for their meals.

Devlin’s wife is good with a knife and she is a fine and patient cook- so Devlin has said  about his wife.

If I could ask- I think her name is LaVerne- one question I think I would ask about the one place in her house that does not have pictures of dead people hanging from a single wall.

It’s on  closet door in a spare room.

And it is nailed shut.

From the inside.

So I have heard.

When This You See

I like to visit real cemeteries year round- to practice my photography and most of all to watch the people who visit there, I find it all very inspiring.

However, ’tis the Season for cemeteries so I found some interesting pictures of historic cemeteries for you to look at below and more  HERE– also, I’ve included a few of  my own at the end of this post.


Photo: John’s Pics- Highgate Cemetery, London
Photo: Carlos Sousa-Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, New York
Photo:Peter Curbishley-Tikhvin Cemetery, Alexander Nevsky Monastery, St. Petersburg, Russia

Photos By Me:

Photo: A.M. Moscoso- Iowa
Photo: A.M. Moscoso-Evergreen-Washelli
Photo: A.M. Moscoso- Evergreen-Washelli

Target Goes ” Mean Girls ” On Trick Or Treaters Homemade H’ween Costumes

I ran across this story about an ad that Target is running.

In it they are saying that unless you buy your kid a costume ( from them ) you are telling the entire world that  you are cheap and that you are pefectly willing to ruin your child’s Halloween and their entire childhood because of your cheapness.

What the heck?

When I was a kid this was how we went about costume shopping.

My parents made a big deal out of taking us to K-Mart to buy one of those plastic masks with the matching plastic costume, we’d chose out a treat bag and buy a pumpking on our way home with our loot. After that we’d spend the next few days trying our costumes on and if we were good we’d get to wear them for dinner until bed time.

On Halloween Day me and my friend- first it was Bonnie and then later Darrin- would spend the entire collecting rolls of toilet paper and eggs.

In  case you’re curious we’d go to our neighbors and say that we were out and our Moms had sent us over to borrow some. Today my husband says to me, ‘so basically you were defacing their property with their own toilet paper and eggs.

” Yeah” I told him.

“That’s evil he says.”

” We were just being practical. ” I said in defense of my childhood self. ” If we took the stuff from our own houses our Moms always noticed and we’d get busted.

Busted means that they would send our Dads Trick or Treating with us.


 We’d spend an hour or so running from block to block hiding our stash and then we’d have to race home, put together the costumes we were actually going to wear, find a place to stash those and then we’d go home and change into our K-Mart Costumes to wear for pictures ( and BTW yes I DID love those- ) We would trick or treat a few houses in those and then… and then….

We would change into whatever we wanted.

Sometimes that change involved swapping costumes parts, adding to our costumes or making something at the last minute out of paper bags and clothes that we found in our Grandparents closets. We probably looked like a mess, but who cares? We didn’t then and all I remember now is the fantastic times we had.

I believe that on Halloween of all nights you dance with them that brought you- have some fun, but I would advise chose who brings you with care and humor.


Here’s what people on YouTube are saying about the Target Ad

Mocking kids/parents who have the creativity and drive to make their own costumes. Way to go, Target. You should be real proud of this one.

Wow, this is a great message for people during a recession! Go buy the crappy printed on plastic crap for twenty bucks instead, really Target?! Or I could sew something awesome (a Jedi and a fairy princess this year) that will be totally unique and durable, instead of cheap, disposable, and just like every other kid.

Why spend time with your kid making something together for Halloween, when you can just go to Target and spend $19 for a memory that will last, oh say, two days?
Way to go, Target! Spending time with those little rugrats is overrated, anyway.

And meanwhile on Reddit, there’s a popular thread called “Target Makes Moms and Kids Feel Like Sh*t for Having Homemade Costumes,” where this comment basically sums up the tone:

The idea of it being a bad thing to make your own costume is ridiculous. Making costumes is a great way for parents to bond with their children and create happy memories.

A Jezebel commenter writes:

Unless Target is treating me to free drinks and an evening of Chuck Norris jokes, I think I’ll stick to homemade, thanks.

Annals of Amoral Advertising, Part One: Target Despises Homemade Halloween Costumes

The Girl At The Side Of The Road

Do you know the story about the girl at the side of the road?

There’s this story about a girl- who for the most part is always trying to hitch a ride outside of a cemetery or an abandoned house with faded crime scene tape hanging from what is left of the front door.

And of course someone always stops for the girl, who is wearing a prom dress out in front of the cemetery, and they let her into the car.

She starts to tell the person who stopped to give her a ride how she is trying to get to a dance – and then she starts to say things about how dark it is, how cold she is, how far away from home she is

So as she starts to bleed from her ears, or sometimes a wound opens up on her chest and she starts to bleed from that, the driver races her to the hospital to get her help.

When they get to the hospital the driver runs into the Emergency Room to get help for the girl who is sitting there in her blood soaked prom dress and when they get back to the car the girl is gone, but on the seat is a dried up wrist corsage.

In the story the driver is told the story about the girl who was hit by a car or murdered as she waited outside for her date to pick her up the dance she never got to go to.

Now its time for a reality check.

First of all I don’t pick up hitch hikers, and for sure that goes for the ones who hang out if front of cemeteries and crime scenes.

But you know, somewhere somebody will- so I would suggest you watch this telling of the Girl At The Side Of The Road before you become that extremely unfortunate somebody and end up in a story told around Halloween about a driver who stops for no  in front of a cemetery one night…

Lets Go Whistling Past The Cemetery

Photo: A.M. Moscoso


I Love Elvira.

She’s funny on purpose.

It’s time for a change. For too long stations have shown crappy movies late at night with NO cool host to make them fun. Well despite rumors of her dabbling in witchery… Elvira comes clean and states her plan for change. This one’s for you, Christine O’Donnell….

Elvira’s Movie Macabre is nationally syndicated – Visit for stations and scheduled times in your area.

Elvira’s Video Channel


Photo: A.M. Moscoso


I did NOT love the movie ” Paranormal Activity”.

Not only was it NOT scary I actually paid full price to own a copy of  it.

I still have not gotten over that.

At the end of Paranormal – which was almost as dumb as the stupid fire scene with the Ouija   Board-  I sat in front of my tv and toyed with the idea I could take the DVD to work and leave it in the ‘take a book leave a book’ box- which at times people drop movies into- but I didn’t because I didn’t want to have one of my co-workers take that stinker of a movie home and get mad at me for smelling up their house.

So when I came across this clip

Paranormal Activity 2 Parody (Fakeboring Nightvisioncrap 2)

I swear to God, I heard the angels singing


Welcome To My House

Photo: A.M.Moscoso

Sometimes I like to visit


House Of Hammer


Hammer Films



Around my house

I love to watch those paranormal/ ghost  clips on youtube.

Some are fake, but darn it they are GREAT fakes.

I like this one because of a comment that a viewer left- they said something like

“Everyone run away from the haunted cup”

I thought that was great.

Plus the doll IS weird looking and I liked the story- I have to admit, I was hoping that we’d find out what happened to the dolls hands.


Sweet Screams

“A woman is sitting alone in a house. She knows she is alone in the whole world; every other living thing is dead. The doorbell rings.”

Thomas Bailey Aldrich  circa 1870:

“He sat alone in the dark, afraid. Someone put matches in his hand.”

A Ghost Story- Author Unknown


Walk Into My Parlor
– by Mary Howitt

“Will you walk into my parlor?”
said the spider to the fly;
“Tis the prettiest little parlor that you ever did spy.
The way into my parlor is up a winding stair,
And I have many curious things to show when you are there.”
“Oh no, no!” said the little fly,
“to ask me is in vain;
For who goes up your winding stair
can never come down again.”

On Halloween Night

I know a story about a guy who saw the Devil on Halloween Night.

Dan Moss wasn’t positive that the woman sitting next to him on the bus was Satan until she turned to him and  and said “Evening”

That’s when he knew.

” It’s you. ” Dan Moss said.

” Excuse me? ” Satan asked.

” I know who you are.”

The Devil looked puzzled. ” That’s funny, because I don’t know you.”

Dan Moss, who considered himself to be a good and righteous man, said to the Devil sitting next to him on the bus-” Well, you wouldn’t.”

” Hmmm. ” Satan said ” So, you don’t normally ride this bus?”

Dan Moss leaned over and hissed at the Devil, ” Quit playing stupid. I know who you are.”

” Look, really, don’t get offended but I honestly do not know who you are- I’ve never seen you before.”

” Want to bet? ” Dan Moss asked.

Horrified Dan Moss slapped his hand over his mouth.

” As a matter of fact, ” Satan said as she pulled a small black notebook from out of her purse and started to write in it ” I want to do just that Mr. Moss.” 

Indiya’s Uncle


Indiya Olencia was sitting in a hospital room, with her Uncle on the last day of his life.

She was sitting on a chair next to the window watching the snow fall and he was watching something on TV.

” Indy, did I ever tell you about the two old ladies out in the hall?”

” What hall? This one?”

” No, the one on the ship, that cruise I took when I was in my early twenties. They were in that hall.”

” Nope. I don’t think so”

” Well, It was the strangest conversation I’d ever heard- and it haunts me to this day.”

Indy wasn’t sure how she should feel about a dieing man telling her a story that was haunting him to his grave, still she told him- ” what did you hear?”

” We were having this costume party- it was Halloween and for a few days up to the night people were talking about their costumes. Some brought them on board and others were putting them together there on the ship.

I had my cabin door open when I hear this one lady say, ” You know what I’d like to be for Halloween?”

Then I hear this other lady say, ” I have no idea. “

” Alive. Alive would be nice.”

All Indiya could think to say to that was, ” yeah?”

” That’s what I heard. I was curious how you dress up to look alive so I go to my door and open it and look down the hall and it’s empty. Empty as a tomb. I figured they must have gone into one of the other cabins. I’ll be honest with you Indy, I’ve spent my entire life saying that’s what they did.”

Indiya’s Uncle who was about to fall asleep in the next few minutes and would be dead shortly after that looked at her.

One of his eyes was halfway closed, the other was wide opened- she looked directly into the opened one and she nodded. ” Then she looked out the window and watched the snow falling, heavier now and she figured that she would spend the rest of her life telling herself the same thing.


lil pumpkin halloween special 31000 pictures, backgrounds and images



I love to plant the seeds

and care for my pumpkins as they grow.


When they are ripe and imperfect

 I liked to take them into my kitchen,

 where it is warm and cozy .


And then as my cats watch with curiosity

I take a knife and plunge it into my pumpkins


I have grown with tender loving  care

and scrape their guts out with a wooden spoon.


Sometimes I even roast and eat their seeds.

I like to make them crunch.

halloween nite abstract image pictures, backgrounds and images 



the pumpkin house halloween pictures, backgrounds and images

Once Upon A Nightmare

” Once I had a nightmare ” my friend Domino told me ” about this witch who tried to break into my house “

” Okay, ” I tell Domino thinking this sounds like a good story to kill that long bus ride home from Seattle ” so how did it go? “

“Well, in my dream I heard my dog crying and in my dream I woke up and went and looked out my bedroom window. “

” And your dog was…”

” Hanging from a tree. “

” Like Hell you say. “

” It’s true, so I tried to run down my hallway to help get her out of the tree but the floor was gone and all I saw where the floor should have been was this dark pit filled with people with snake’s eyes and they were talking to me in a language I couldn’t understand.”

” I really hate it when that happens…” Domino looks at me a little strangely and I say ” you know… in my dreams.”

” Well sure.  So anyway I go back to my bedroom and crawl out my window and then I fall into my rose bushes. “

I turned that image over in my mind a few times..

Domino isn’t into breaking a sweat for any reason- she wouldn’t run wouldn’t run from Lizzie Borden  swinging an ax to save her own  life so I couldn’t begin to imagine her crawling out of a window.

I smiled and encouraged she went on.

” When I get outside there’s this woman standing by Tippy and she’s got her back turned towards me. As much as I want to help Tippy I don’t want her, whoever she is, to turn around.”

” No. ” I tell Domino. ” You certainly do not want that.  It’s a psychology thing…”

” Yeah well, she doesn’t turn around. She just reached up and grabs Tippy by her neck and yanks down. “

” Damn. ” I say ” So what did you do?”

” I run back to my front door and just as I run through it, the door slams shut and I throw myself against it…and I can feel the knob turning in my hand and just before it opens I lock it.”

” Good for you. “

” It didn’t matter, because the door swung open and pushed me back and then the Witch came in with Tippy. She was dragging Tippy by the rope and then Tippy opened her eyes and- she wasn’t Tippy anymore.”

” What was she? “

” Dead.” Domino says sadly. ” And I started to cry and scream for Tippy not to leave me and then I woke up.”

” Look, it was only a dream right? I mean Tippy isn’t really dead and the Witch didn’t get you.”

Domino looks at me and I look at her and Domino asks me if I think she’ll have that awful nightmare again.

 ” Domino”  I say as I  pull a rope from out of my pocket ” you’re not awake yet.”


Somethings are more haunting then other things.

Don’t you think?

TOM WAITS lyrics – Alice

(Tom Waits/Kathleen Brennan)

It’s dreamy weather we’re on
You waved your crooked wand
Along an icy pond with a frozen moon
A murder of silhouette crows I saw
And the tears on my face
And the skates on the pond
They spell Alice

I disappear in your name
But you must wait for me
Somewhere across the sea
There’s a wreck of a ship
Your hair is like meadow grass on the tide
And the raindrops on my window
And the ice in my drink
Baby all I can think of is Alice

Arithmetic arithmetock
Turn the hands back on the clock
How does the ocean rock the boat?
How did the razor find my throat?
The only strings that hold me here
Are tangled up around the pier

And so a secret kiss
Brings madness with the bliss
And I will think of this
When I’m dead in my grave
Set me adrift and I’m lost over there
And I must be insane
To go skating on your name
And by tracing it twice
I fell through the ice
Of Alice

And so a secret kiss
Brings madness with the bliss
And I will think of this
When I’m dead in my grave
Set me adrift and I’m lost over there
And I must be insane
To go skating on your name
And by tracing it twice
I fell through the ice
Of Alice
There’s only Alice

Anna’s Mirrors

There is legend

about a girl named


who was not sane-

and one day her family sent her away to be cured

at a hospital

on a road

out in the middle of nowhere.

There were bars on all of the windows.


The Doctors

who were not sane

locked her in a room full of mirrors

and the things that lived in Anna’s Brain

the things that drove her insane

went to live in the mirrors

where it was dark and quite and they didn’t have to listen to

Poor Anna’s Brain scream and scream and scream anymore.


One day

for no reason at all

the people died and the hospital died

and so did the things that hid under the beds

and in the closets.


Now Anna’s Mirrors hang from walls

in houses and libraries and shops and hotels


some are hanging in buildings with rats in the walls.


 If by an unlucky

turn of fate

you find

one of the cool dark mirrors that hung in poor Anna’s room

in the hospital where the Doctors were not sane

and you press your ear to the glass

you can  hear


moving around in there

and that something

that was  never sane

used to live inside of

Poor Anna’s Brain

I Mean, No One’s Gonna Eat Your Eyes

“Your Brains”


A little tune about Zombies and brain eating.



Heya Tom, it’s Bob,
From the office down the hall.
Good to see you buddy,
How’ve ya been?
Things have been okay for me,
Except that I’m a zombie now.
Really wish you’d let us in.
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demands,
But here’s an FYI – you’re all gonna die, screaming.

All we wanna do is eat your brains
We’re not unreasonable,
I mean no-one’s gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
We’re at an impasse here,
Maybe we should compromise.
Open up the door,
We’ll all come inside and eat your brains.

I don’t wanna nitpick Tom, but is this really your plan –
Spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that’s okay for now,
But someday you’ll be out of food and guns,
And you’ll have to make the call.
I’m not surprised to see you haven’t thought it through enough –
You never had the head for all that ‘bigger picture’ stuff.
But Tom, that’s what I do,
And I plan on eating you, slowly.

All we wanna do is eat your brains
We’re not unreasonable,
I mean no-one’s gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains


Bancho Church Has A Grave Thought

Bancho Church is a horror writer- at least that’s what he gets paid to do and that’s what he says he does for a living and on good days he’ll say to himself, ” I am a horror writer ” and mentally he gives himself a big kiss.

But when Bancho has days where he spends most of his time watching video clips on his computer and chatting on-line with his friends he doesn’t feel like a writer. On those days he wishes he had stuck with his original line of work- he used to be the top salesman for a company that sold pathology equipment.

When he had down days at Waxons he’d clock out and go to the bar around the corner and drink beer and eat peanuts until he had either picked his spirits up or drowned them in a  sea of Dark Ale.

Now when he had down days with his writing he goes outside and does yard work.

So that is where Bancho was the day he saw the old lady waiting at the bus stop across the street from where he lives.

She was wearing a bright red coat to protect herself from the chilly fall air and she was wearing a hat decorated with birds and fruit to cover her almost shoulder length gray hair to- well- as near as Bancho could figure it out- she wore that for fun.

Bancho waved and the old lady slowly raised her arm waved back and then Bancho turned away from the street and started to rake leaves.

There were millions of them.

Millions and millions he was thinking over and over again because he wasn’t thinking about anything useful- like maybe the book he was working on- when he reached down to scoop up the pile of leaves at his feet to put them into the yard waste bin.

They crumbled almost to dust in his hands.

He dropped them into the open bin and started to rake up another pile- and as he did the dark wet leaves curled a little on the edges and started to break apart.

He kicked at the pile with his foot and looked up.

The old lady in the red coat raised her arm again to wave and this time when she waved she wiggled her fingers too.

He waved back.

Bancho moved the little pile of leaves around with his foot and some of them broke apart and the ones that didn’t almost did.

Bancho felt a cool  blast of air make stroll by and he heard it make its way up into the tree’s  branches around him and leaves- some red others gold and lots of still green leaves fell into yards and the street for as far as Bancho could see.

And he knew that if he were to walk to each and every one of those leaves and picked them up in small bunches in his hand or step on them they would crumbled to dust.

The old lady in the red coat with the birds on her hat shrugged.

” Well. ” Bancho thought to himself ” The leaves are dieing. That’s what they do in the fall. They fall from the trees and they die because-“

Bancho ground a fresh green leaf to a fine powder  and he said out loud ” they get old.”

Bancho looked up and across the street and the Old Lady was now hatless.  Her hat was now on her left hand and she was twirling it on one finger.

And then from down the street Bancho could hear the bus coming towards them.

It crawled to a stop and Bancho could see the Old Lady make her way to the back of the bus and she wasn’t moving like an old woman.

She bounced down the aisle  and he could see her swing into a seat and he saw her, as the bus slid away waving to him- at least he thought it was her- he saw the red coat and she was actually waving her hat at him- but the woman he saw had long dark hair.

It couldn’t have been her, he thought as he reached for his rake.

What had he just seen, he asked himself A Vampire who feeds off of leaves to make herself young?

Bancho laughed at himself  as he pulled his rake along the ground and when the sharp pain shot up from the middle of his back and he was forced, for a few minutes to support himself against his rake he tried to  keep on laughing.

But he could not.

To Grandfather’s House We Go

Over the river and thru the wood,
Oh, how the wind does blow!
It stings the toes,
And bites the nose,
As over the ground we go.

Lydia Maria Child

Petty Morrell asked his wife, on Halloween Night, the same exact question that he has asked her for the last 30 years on Halloween Night.

” Marginata, why do we do the same exact thing for Thanksgiving? Why can’t we for once do something different.?”

Marginata answered Petty’s question the same way she has answered it for the last 30 years.

She ignored Petty.

“We bring the same food- as wonderful as you pumpkin pie is, you’ve done it to death and we sit at the same table and we hear the same stories about your Grandfather- who you never knew because he died in that accident at the Circus before you were  born. I mean, Mar- please a little variety. Can we wear funny hats or bring pizza or hey, here is an idea let’s not go.”

Marginata closed her eyes- for all of his going on and on about getting stuck in a mind numbing routine Marginata thought that Petty would find something new to add to the conversation.

So just as Marginata was about to give her standard reply they both heard voices and then a knock at the door. Marginata grabbed a silver bowl full of mini chocolate bars and little bags of candy corn and she said, ” I like the funny hats idea Petty. That was a funny line the first time you used it and almost 30 years later it still makes me laugh”

” You’re not laughing.” Petty pointed out.

” I am on the inside.” Marginata told him as she opened the door to two mini-sized devils, one medium-sized space alien and in a stroller made up to look like a basket with a baby dressed up like a stalk of celery sitting in the middle of it.

She handed out the candy. closed the door and turned to Petty and then- surprise!  He had something new to say:

” You would think that a man who born with a tail and a full set of teeth would have produced a family with people who were at least open to new ideas.”

Marginata shrugged, ” lots of us in the family were born with tails and teeth Petty. Even me.”

” So why do we have to sit at a table and pretend to be like everyone else?” Petty asked.

“Well. It’s fun.”

” You think acting normal is fun?”

” No, I guess not. It’s more funny than anything else. After all my sister Ella  found five bodies buried in her shed. Only somebody in my family would end up buying a house that was once owned by a spree killer who buried the bodies in a tool shed with no tools in it.  Normal is sort of neat idea in our book”

” Your Uncle Beltrane certainly thought so.”

” My Uncle Beltrane thought someone cut his hand off while he was sleeping and replaced it with his neighbor’s hand. Uncle was weird yet practical on…well, the other hand.”

” Maybe so, but I’ll bet he’s glad for that weird old Insanity Defense being there when he went to get his hand back.”

Marginata said slowly. ” The woods truly are full of crazy people.”

” Your brother would know all about that. “

” He never said the woods were full of crazy people- he said the trees were crazy. Sometimes I wonder if you ever really listen to what people are saying or if you just react to what they say.

There was another knock at the door and the little group of forest animals, Pirates and Werewolves remebered to  thank Petty for the gummy candy eyeballs after he shut the door.

” You need to embrace the weirdness that is your family, your history Mar. I mean, I fell in love with that too you know.”

Marginata smiled a real warm smile at her husband and hugged the bowl to her chest. Then went back into the kitchen to fill the bowl with more candy.

Petty said, as he heard Marginata opening plastic bags ” Look, just try one new thing this year-anything you want. Big, little, doesn’t matter. Just shake things up a little.”

Marginata called  back ” Well, ” she thought out loud ” I suppose I could try  baking something  new. That might be fun.”

Petty groaned silently and rolled his eyes up into his head and called back ” sure, that’s the spirit.”

Marginata’s bowl of candy was overflowing and she said happily as she walked out into the living room,” I’m thinking apple.”

” Oh yeah?” Petty said encouragingly.

Spiced apple.” Marginata said.

” Now there’s a thought.”

” You don’t love it?”

” I like the idea Mar…really.”

” But you don’t love it.”

” I could.”

” Yeah. Well. Let me think-” this time the bell door bell chimed and Marginata walked towards the door with her bowl of candy she was saying something to herself about spiced apples and rum raisins  and then she sighed.

Petty heard that and regretted bringing up the idea at all.

Despite the fact Marginata’s Mother who as a child was suspected of starting a fire that burned down the Leaning Birches Prison back in the 50’s and may have caused the deaths of over 200 inmates- Marginata was and would always be a sweatshirt wearing suburban housewife.

” I don’t know Mar- your family does love those pumpkin pies of yours, especially when you whip up the whip cream with the nutmeg. It’s a nice touch.”

” I make it with fresh cream straight from my cousin Beezer’s dairy farm “

” Is his daughter still in jail?”

” Yeah.”

” Sorry to hear that. I still don’t know what made that girl think she would not get into trouble for sneaking into the County Morgue and-“

” Kids.” Marginata said as she opened the door.

Petty heard the chorus of  Dracula’s and witches and clowns  sing out ” trick or treat” but he didn’t hear Marginata ooh-and ahh over the costumes or offer to let them choose their own treats from the bowl.

He turned and the door was wide open and Marginata wasn’t looking outside- she was facing into the house. The bowl of candy was in her hands and she was smiling.

” Petty, ” she whirled around and faced the Trick or Treaters ” I have a great idea for a pie.”


 photo by: wintersixfour