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Our free-write is back by popular demand: today, write about anything — but you must write for exactly ten minutes, no more, no less

 

I was reading one of those articles that they aim at people who are either just choosing a career path or maybe they’re looking to go on a new one.

My day job is great- there isn’t a lot of money involved, but I like the company, my co-workers awesome  and  and I like what I do.

At night I write.

Life is good.

But that article made me think outside the box. The thing of it is when I think outside the box I end up far afield. I might not learn a lot and I’m sure I’m not using the information provided as it was intended but at least I can say I enjoyed the heck of the article.

So here it is, if I could chose a dream job- if I could be anything in the world…get ready for it…

I’d be the Headless Horseman

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 I’m not particularly enchanted with the idea of getting my head cut off, but in the  past I’ve worked at jobs that broke my spirit and made me feel small and stupid so how does a little decapitation compare to that?

 Exactly.

It doesn’t.

In addition I like to be out at night- the darker the better, cold enough to rattle your bones? I’m good with it. Big plus here-  I’d get to ride a wicked horse and that takes me right back to the days when I rode motorcycles – wow- be still my heart- I’d probably get to wear leather again too.

 And of course the fun part- chasing people around who like to tempt fate and pooh-pooh what they don’t understand,

I tempt fate now and then, but I don’t wait for it to turn it’s back and then sucker punch it in the back of the head. People who act like that manage to hurt everyone around them so I think it wouldn’t hurt them to get chased across a bridge on a dark, foggy night by a demonic horse and someone who really and truly loves her job.

And as for the Pooh-Poohers?

They’re the  one’s who think they know it all because they are so enlightend of heart and intellect that they can tell themselves in all honesty that  they’re not ramming their view point down your throat because they’re actually the most vicious and intolerant human beings to walk the face of the earth and are only listening  to you talk long enough so yes…they can pooh pooh what you say..

I’d like to introduce you to my not so little friend who was created to chop off limbs and is not known for making  surgical style incisions.

Of course I’m sure there are great benefits like-

I am sure you get to travel or maybe fill in for other Headless Horseman on other Bridges or Roads. Or maybe you get to chose. That would be great.

Halloween must be awesome. I’ll bet you could arrange a take your kid to work day. Of course my kids are grown up but I do have a few cats who would probably love the ride along experience because who wouldn’t?

You get to set your own hours. From what I understand the Headless Horseman pretty much show up when they want to. Awesome.

I’ll bet the Headless Horseman get to meet some cool monsters like Werewolves and Mummies and Ghosts. My guess is that they hang out in cemeteries which is fine with me because I actually used to work in one.

Indeed.

This could be the perfect job for me.

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I’ve heard a bunch of different legends for how The Headless Horseman came to be.

But.

I think  ( at least I hope ) that somewhere there’s a piece of paper nailed to an old tree and written in dark brown ink ( because that’s what happens to blood when it turns old ) that says:

Do you have dedication, skill, flexability and determination to complete  your task at hand? Are you a self starter and self motivated?

Do you like horses and  are you willing to work late hours?

Then wait here.

We’ll be along shortly.

It Sneaks Up On You

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Halloween is my favorite time of the year.

Not the holiday itself exactly.

I love Autumn, I love the Winter. I love the crunchy leaves. The cold dark mornings and the biting cold evenings.

I love considering the possiblity of those things that can happen when Spring comes.

But in the mean time.

Winter.

I read the classics during the winter. Dickens mostly. This year I’m going to read start off with David Copperfield. Last year it was Great Expectations, but then I moved on to Through The Looking Glass, A Journal of The Plague Year and Turn Of The Screw.

On Monday I’m going to my favorite bookstore in Pioneer Square ( it’s a small independant store and the owner actually talks about books and writers with you) and pick up my Winter reading.

And then later this week I’m going Halloween Shopping.

I like to get that done before October.

Because once October hits, I want to celebrate and enjoy each and everday leading up to the night itself.

I want to read and write and listen to hours of Mozart and The Midnight Syndicate

I want to enjoy scary movies and take in some not so scary ones.

That’s the thing about the holidays and life in general. It will sneak up on you and be down the road before you know it.

So make it count. Every moment.

 

Tis The Season

 Do you think God knew what He was doing when He created woman?  I really wanna know. Or do you think it was another one of His minor mistakes like tidal waves, earthquakes, FLOODS? You think women are like that? S’matter? You don’t think God makes mistakes? Of course He does. We ALL make mistakes. Of course, when WE make mistakes they call it evil. When GOD makes mistakes, they call it… nature. So whaddya think? Women… a mistake… or DID HE DO IT TO US ON PURPOSE?

Daryl Van Horne

Witches of Eastwick

 “When I was a child there were many witches, and they bewitched both cattle and men, especially children”

“When witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers,

‘tis near Halloween.”

Who Is The Fairest

Magic mirror on the wall 

Who is the fairest of them all?

I was out shopping for my Halloween pumpkins because as you know nothing says Halloween like

sticking a butcher nice into a perfectly formed  amd otherwise lovely looking vegetable and carving it into a unatural shape, right?

Well, this year I saw something different sitting in the pumpkin bin at my local grocery store.

Something odd, something strange something that nobody wanted to touch.

Except for me, because you know I don’t mind the odd and macabre.

Anyway, sitting there on top of a bunch of smooth round golden orange jack-o-lanterns in waiting was a Warty Pumpkin.

It’s affect on people was a wonder.

Nobody would touch it.

I heard one person wonder to a sales clerk and a couple of other customers if the warts would spread to other the pumpkins and would her other plants catch whatever caused the warts?

Were the warts caused by bugst they wondered. Could it be a  fungus they asked each other.

All I know is after hearing all that chit-chat

I bought one.

Heck I’d have bought two  but I wanted this little charmer to stand out on Halloween night and you know….

I’m pretty sure it will.

Trick or Treat?

Printable Halloween coloring pages: Disney Halloween, jack-o-lanterns and more HERE

Do you know who Carl Grimes is?

:::from Wikipedia::::

Carl Grimes is a fictional character from the comic book series The Walking Dead and is portrayed by Chandler Riggs in the American television series of the same name.

In the comic series, Carl begins as a normal and innocent child, only to gradually devolve into a murderer with a cold primal mentality. As of July 2012, he is one of the longest living survivors, alongside Rick, Andrea, and Sophia.

Olden Days

There are writing prompts for teachers designed to help students focus on their schoolwork during the month of Halloween. I read that students are so  distracted by candy and costumes that they check out and it’s hard to hold their attention in class.

I can believe that.

When I was a kid me and my friends started planning for Halloween sometime towards the end of September and by Halloween we were out of our minds withe excitement and that was BEFORE we downed all that sugar.

But I wonder- do kids really get that excited over Halloween anymore?

I know that for a while  going to the Malls and trick or treating was a big deal – but it was THE MALL. People sent their kids into stores to trick or treat cashiers. I know that some of my friends who worked at the Malls when this started thought it was fun.  I thought it was sad. I thought it was the end of Halloween.

When me and my friends went out on Halloween night it was cold and it was really very dark because the neighborhoods I lived in were packed with evergreen trees and not  packed with a lot of street lights.

I remembered that the  leaves seemed to die and fall Halloween morning and I remember how satisfying it was when they would crunch under your feet as you raced along the sidewalk and across streets to houses with pumpkins that had been carved without the help of stencils and pumpkin carving tools that look like surgical instruments except for they are orange and made out of plastic and those things are small and …and they’re made out of PLASTIC for goodness sakes.

Anything made to carve and cut a Halloween decoration  needs  to be made of well sharpened stainless steel because nothing beats getting to use  THE BIG KNIFE  to carve a Halloween pumpkin – especially if you’re a kid and your Dad let’s you hold the knife as he guides it through the pumpkin’s flesh and all on your own he let’s you scoop out the insides with your Mom’s favorite soup ladle.

Me and my friends  agonized over days trying to decide what we wanted be for Halloween

 When I was really little the costumes were old school- we had those plastic masks that came in boxes with a matching plastic costume- I always wanted to be a dog or a princess…bet you didn’t see that coming did you?

One year I was Casper The Friendly Ghost my Aunt Sharon helped me pick it out. I’m pretty sure I only got it because she loved Casper and I wanted to make her happy. However-I was mortified the entire night.

Even the nifty Trick or Treat Bag she made for me didn’t  help me feel better about the sad situation I found myself in.

 Ghosts as far as I was concerned were not friendly. I figured if a real ghost saw me it would die- again-laughing  when it saw me.  The next year I refused the Witch costume when my Mom pointed it out at the store  because I thought witches were real too and what would happen if I got mistaken for one?

I could get burned at the stake or hung and not only would I be dead I wouldn’t get to eat my candy.

However one year I did give in and let myself get put into a  Vampire costume because I was sure they weren’t real. Plus it was a boy’s costume and I liked that because I got to wear my boots with my costume.

Do kids go through that Drama anymore?

I mean, how thrilling is t to go to the Mall and trick or treat the lady who sells cheese and sausage gift baskets? The cashier at the shoe store or the guy at the camping gear store? And don’t get me started on Green Halloween and Healthy Halloween snacks and Harvest Festivals where you can’t dress up like the Devil but you can dress up like a clown or a scarecrow.

I wouldn’t trust the person who made that one up, I’ll say that outright. That is a weird call.

But I wonder.

Just before Halloween, on their way home from school,  do kids still point houses that could be haunted? Gardens where someone could be hiding dead bodies that are being turned into Zombies and was that sound you heard the night before spaceships from Uranus ( yeah, well- we weren’t always serious when we discussed monsters ).

Or do they talk ( on cell phones ) about computer games where you know for sure you can find haunted houses or Zombies or Space Aliens.

So I wonder- do kids really get  distracted from their schoolwork  by Halloween?

I hope so.

I really do.

One Night

One night

I set out on a trip all by myself.

I didn’t have a map or a ticket I didn’t know where I was going.

But I went alone.

And I was alone.

For a very long time.

Towards the end of the trip I heard someone walking towards me-

and then I heard someone breathing

just around the corner from where I was walking

all alone.

And then I stopped.

” Someone there? “

I asked.

No one answered.

” Hey!  Is someone there? ” I called a little louder.

The breathing stopped and the footsteps came towards me-

from around the corner and I closed my eyes tight and put one foot in front of the other and then I flew towards the breathing and the footsteps and the voices that cried out:

” What the hell was that? ” came the voice from behind me and then below me as I took to the darkness above ” What the Hell was that! “

and not a knife in sight….

:::It’s about Pumpkins Today:::

I wrote this story a few years ago- the characters were based on me and my Grandma Ginger and goes a long way to show where I developed my idea of ‘funny’ –  it’s  also one of my personal favorites:

::::A Pumpkin Carvers Story:::

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” How did you get so good at carving pumpkins? “

” Practice.” Enid told her Granddaughter as she delicately put the tip of her butcher’s knife against the side pumpkin’s blank face. ” Lots and lots of practice.”

She pushed the knife into he pumpkin’s flesh and as she broke the skin she told Aubrey, ” I love that smell.”

” That pumpkin smell?”

Enid looked over the pumpkin and said, ” That what?”

” That pumpkin smell.”

Enid shrugged and then pulled the knife up and dropped it down into the pumpkin in one clean motion after another.

Instead of answering her Aubrey, Enid hummed.

When she was finished she put her knife down and wrapped her fingers around the pumpkins stem. She took a breath, closed her eyes and smiled as lifted and  heard the pop and rip as the top of the pumpkin’s skull came away in her hand.

Enid opened her eyes and sighed and then  she answered her Granddaughter. ” No. I don’t mean that smell. I mean that other smell.”

” I can’t smell anything except for Pumpkin.”

” Really?” Enid said, ” You can’t smell that?”

Enid set the top of the pumpkin’s head down and she reached for a large wooden spoon and plunged into the pumpkin and began to scrape it out.

” Go ahead. Take a sniff. You really can’t smell that?”

Aubrey leaned over the pumpkin and sniffed.

” What is it? What should I be able to smell?”

As Enid  stood up she picked the knife up off the table and said  to the back of her Granddaughter’s neck:

” Why. The Fear of course.”

I made this e-card at Spookathon.Com

This was a fun site and I’d say give it a whirl because it was easy to navigate and in the end the picture I created was the Bee’s Knees.

PS. To  save the picture I had to go all the way through and create the card- and if you want there are other options for your artwork, like creating games and puzzles.

Photo: extremepumpkins.com

I hope you enjoyed the treat today…now on to the next part.

bwahahahahh

amm

She Was Not Alive

There were three of them in the car that Halloween Night when Mundy Selkirk turned up on Latona Road.

She was walking into town and they were driving out of town and had they not turned around and picked her up the Henshaw’s Party would not have been short a Pirate, a French Maid and a Zombie for the first part of their party. But the fact is they did turn around because they saw Mundy Selkirk  in a Mourning Dress and carrying a the knife she killed her family with over 100 years ago right there in Burnstone out at the Selkirk farmhouse.

” That is the best Mundy Selkirk costume I have ever seen ” the French Maid ( Lee Bressler ) screamed at the top of her lungs ” turn around now!”

The Pirate ( David Lindall ) said ” no ” but he did turn around because the Zombie ( Lister ) was his older brother and  he was agreeing with Lee. So at that point he knew that nobody in the car was listening to him.

They pulled up along side Mundy Selkirk, but she was not as pale and ghostly looking as the ten or so other Mundy Selkirk’s they’d already run into on their way to the Henshaw’s. This Mundy was a little dusty and sweaty looking, she looked annoyed when they signaled for her to stop.

” What?” she shouted at them

” That is the best Mundy Selkirk costume ever.”  Lee said enthusiastically. ” Where did you get it from?”

Mundy stopped and glared into the car. ” My Mother made it for me.”

” Your Mother is cool.” Lister told her.

Mundy seemed to consider what she had just heard Lister say. ” I suppose so.”

” Look, we can give you a ride into town if you want. It’s not a big deal. “

” Well. It would save me some time. I have to get back into town, I don’t want to be late.”

Mundy got into the back seat with Lister and as she slid into the car she handed Lister her knife. ” Watch yourself it’s sharp.” She told him.

” You’re taking a real knife to a party?”

” Well. Yes. ” She said slowly.

The ride into town was short but on that short ride they learned that this Mundy Selkirk liked to read poetry, she played the piano and she had a rose garden.

” So what is your interest in Mundy Selkirk?” David asked from the front seat. ” Most people who are into Mundy Selkirk are into the goth thing and it sounds like you’re into the, I don’t know flower thing.”

” The Goth thing?” Mundy asked

” Yeah, you know, they’re into vampires and…”

“Vampires?” Mundy echoed.

” Well. Some of them think they’re real and-“

” There are people out there who believe in Vampires and ress up like, M-“

” Yep. And they are into the Vampire thing in a very big way.”

” Mundy Selkirk was not a Vampire.”

” Who knows? ” Lee said with a laugh.  ” They said all of her victims had been drained of their blood. “

” You don’t think that the fact she cut their throats had something to do with that, do you?” Mundy Selkirk asked.

” Well, what happened to it then? All of that blood…”

” Took a very long time to clean up, but it was days before anyone knew something had happened at the House. Mundy had all the time in the world to do what she had to do.”

Mundy tapped the back of David’s headrest with her knife. ” You can let me out here. I’m going to the Bitterman’s House. Honestly. Mundy Selkirk a vampire.”

” So what do you think happened to the real Mundy Selkirk? ” Lee asked Mundy.

” They found her in the woods. ” Mundy told her.

” Well. Yes. But what do you think killed her?”

” She was not alive. ” Mundy said, ” and she hadn’t been for a very long time- that’s all I know.”

David watched Mundy walk up to the Bitterman’s B&B, they hosted a Halloween Party there for the guests every Halloween. The Bitterman party had nothing to do with Mundy Selkirk, Bitterman’s back in the day had been a Funeral Parlor.

As Mundy made her way up the walk, swinging her knife from side to side Lister could see the heavy white thread running up the back of Mundy Selkirk’s dress- that was a weird touch Lister thought.

That’s what they did in funeral homes he had learned a few years ago at the Bitterman’s Halloween Party a few years ago-  some funeral directors cut the clothes in the back to fit them on to the corpses and then they sewed them up the back with heavy thread. 

They weren’t tailors so Lister imagined it looked just like the back of Mundy Selkirk’s dress- the stitches were loose and the fabric was bunched up in places up and down her spine.

Just then she turned and waved as they pulled away from the curb, she was waving goodbye with her knife.

And she was smiling.

 

October Skeletons

 

What would you do about  Halloween if your name was October Skeletons?

Would you celebrate Halloween? Hide from Halloween? Would you spend each day of the year leading up to Halloween cursing your Mortician Father and Science Teacher Mother for not only keeping that weird name but naming you October to boot?

Well. October did none of those things because October Skeletons was a very practical man.

He worked as a baker and read history books and only bought things when they were on sale.

The only jokes October knew were the ones that were printed on paper place mats at one of three diners he ate at when he did eat out. And I should probably mention that he really liked those jokes and told them in such a way that people actually laughed at them.

So just before Halloween October’s friends at the Bakery started to ask him what his plans for Halloween were, and he told them like he told them every year. ” I just don’t have the heart to celebrate Halloween. My Parents were big on it, they were married on Halloween you know, my Mom would throw these big parties for Halloween and people would dress up and play games. It was grand. She was grand. Both of them were exceptional people and once they passed on well…but like I said. I just don’t have the heart to do anything for it.”

This year, October’s friends at the Bakery insisted that this year he was going to Lissie Kade’s Halloween party with the rest of them. He was going to dress up and eat food that had been shaped into body parts and hand out candy at the door to trick or treaters.

They told him that there were going to be no if and or buts or stories about missing his parents or stories or how empty his life was without his Grandparents who had traveled in sideshows and worked as Magicians and how he couldn’t really have fun the way he used to without  his mortician Aunt and grave digging uncles,

because,

as October always said-

he just didn’t have the heart to.

” Oh come on October, they sound like they were great. ” they said to him as they got ready to start the days baking ” but they’d want you to have fun. Right?”

” Of course they would. But I counted on them for that and now…”

Ramsey Mathis is October’s best friend and this time he walked up to his friend, grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him hard, ” You are going to go to this party, you are going to have fun and nobody wants to hear that you…”

” I told you, ” October said as he pulled his friend’s hand from his shoulder and put it on the center of his chest. ” I  do not have the heart for it.”

Grave Matters

Did you know jack-o’-lanterns were originally made from turnips?

Its true.

According to the US Census there were no known Zombies living in

Skull Creek, Nebraska

DOH!

Another dream of mine is crushed.

Halloween Rules To Live By

From

Halloween On Line Dot Com

Top 10 Houses to Avoid while Trick-or-Treating


10. Any house that seems to be imploding into a hole in the ground.

9. Any house made of gingerbread.

8. Any house that has ornamental lawn Hell Hounds.

7. Any house whose only entrance is through the basement.

6. Any house where all the windows are glowing with eerie green light.

5. Any house that keeps growling, “Get out”

4. Any house where the trophy animal heads on the walls are talking.

3. Any house that has a bloody wood chipper prominently displayed in the front yard.

2. Any house with a yard full of statues of people in odd running poses.And the number 1 house to avoid…

1. Any house that wasn’t there a couple of seconds ago.

This is a Coffin you can be buried in

From BBC Nottingham-Top Ten Crazy Coffins

 

This is a Coffin you can make out of cake- you can eat it:

From TLC Cooking HERE

INGREDIENTS

1 loaf (16 ounces) pound cake, thawed if frozen
4 graham crackers
1 container (1 pound) caramel frosting
1/2 pound assorted Halloween candies
5 to 10 gummy worms
1 cup chocolate cookie crumbs

PREPARATION:

  1. Cut cake loaf to resemble coffin by cutting 1-inch triangle from 1 corner of cake. Cut opposite corner to match; this will be the top end of coffin. Cut long, narrow triangles (1X4-inches) off bottom corners to form bottom end.
  2. Slice 1/2-inch layer off top of cake horizontally to form lid; set aside. Leaving 1/2-inch border, cut around inside edge of cake and scoop out some of interior. Cut graham crackers to fit onto cake sides; use frosting to attach graham cracker “boards” to outer sides of cake. Frost top of cake, if desired.
  3. Fill inside of cake with candy and gummy worms, allowing some to spill out over edges. Set lid on cake at slight angle.

Tip

Cake looks great atop chocolate cookie crumbs, on a wooden cutting board, with a small spoon as a shovel in a pile of “dirt” crumbs next to coffin.

Devlin Marsh’s Wife

” Why does Devlin Marsh’s wife  hang pictures of dead people on her walls?”

There are pictures of people in laying in coffins or sitting in chairs and they are surrounded by flowers and mourners and in one a dead girl,  her eyes flat and dull stares at you from forever.

I think Devilin’s wife is  named LaVerne, but I could be wrong.

I have never asked and most people don’t want to know about Devlin Marsh’s wife who came into the world on a night where a storm tore through her home town and the lighting strikes almost burned the hospital she was born in to the ground and after Devlin’s wife grew up most people wished it had.

Devlin Marsh’s wife, whose name could be LaVerne has pictures of old people and young people dressed for the grave hanging from the walls in her hallways and sewing room, in her sitting room and there is even one hanging in her pantry in a heavy silver frame where the dead man in the faded picture  looks all day at the food Devlin and (I think her name is) LaVerne will eat for their meals.

Devlin’s wife is good with a knife and she is a fine and patient cook- so Devlin has said  about his wife.

If I could ask- I think her name is LaVerne- one question I think I would ask about the one place in her house that does not have pictures of dead people hanging from a single wall.

It’s on  closet door in a spare room.

And it is nailed shut.

From the inside.

So I have heard.

When This You See

I like to visit real cemeteries year round- to practice my photography and most of all to watch the people who visit there, I find it all very inspiring.

However, ’tis the Season for cemeteries so I found some interesting pictures of historic cemeteries for you to look at below and more  HERE– also, I’ve included a few of  my own at the end of this post.

a.m.m.

Photo: John’s Pics- Highgate Cemetery, London
Photo: Carlos Sousa-Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, New York
Photo:Peter Curbishley-Tikhvin Cemetery, Alexander Nevsky Monastery, St. Petersburg, Russia

Photos By Me:

Photo: A.M. Moscoso- Iowa
Photo: A.M. Moscoso-Evergreen-Washelli
Photo: A.M. Moscoso- Evergreen-Washelli

Target Goes ” Mean Girls ” On Trick Or Treaters Homemade H’ween Costumes

I ran across this story about an ad that Target is running.

In it they are saying that unless you buy your kid a costume ( from them ) you are telling the entire world that  you are cheap and that you are pefectly willing to ruin your child’s Halloween and their entire childhood because of your cheapness.

What the heck?

When I was a kid this was how we went about costume shopping.

My parents made a big deal out of taking us to K-Mart to buy one of those plastic masks with the matching plastic costume, we’d chose out a treat bag and buy a pumpking on our way home with our loot. After that we’d spend the next few days trying our costumes on and if we were good we’d get to wear them for dinner until bed time.

On Halloween Day me and my friend- first it was Bonnie and then later Darrin- would spend the entire collecting rolls of toilet paper and eggs.

In  case you’re curious we’d go to our neighbors and say that we were out and our Moms had sent us over to borrow some. Today my husband says to me, ‘so basically you were defacing their property with their own toilet paper and eggs.

” Yeah” I told him.

“That’s evil he says.”

” We were just being practical. ” I said in defense of my childhood self. ” If we took the stuff from our own houses our Moms always noticed and we’d get busted.

Busted means that they would send our Dads Trick or Treating with us.

Anyway.

 We’d spend an hour or so running from block to block hiding our stash and then we’d have to race home, put together the costumes we were actually going to wear, find a place to stash those and then we’d go home and change into our K-Mart Costumes to wear for pictures ( and BTW yes I DID love those- ) We would trick or treat a few houses in those and then… and then….

We would change into whatever we wanted.

Sometimes that change involved swapping costumes parts, adding to our costumes or making something at the last minute out of paper bags and clothes that we found in our Grandparents closets. We probably looked like a mess, but who cares? We didn’t then and all I remember now is the fantastic times we had.

I believe that on Halloween of all nights you dance with them that brought you- have some fun, but I would advise chose who brings you with care and humor.

a.m.m.

Here’s what people on YouTube are saying about the Target Ad

Mocking kids/parents who have the creativity and drive to make their own costumes. Way to go, Target. You should be real proud of this one.

Wow, this is a great message for people during a recession! Go buy the crappy printed on plastic crap for twenty bucks instead, really Target?! Or I could sew something awesome (a Jedi and a fairy princess this year) that will be totally unique and durable, instead of cheap, disposable, and just like every other kid.

Why spend time with your kid making something together for Halloween, when you can just go to Target and spend $19 for a memory that will last, oh say, two days?
Way to go, Target! Spending time with those little rugrats is overrated, anyway.

And meanwhile on Reddit, there’s a popular thread called “Target Makes Moms and Kids Feel Like Sh*t for Having Homemade Costumes,” where this comment basically sums up the tone:

The idea of it being a bad thing to make your own costume is ridiculous. Making costumes is a great way for parents to bond with their children and create happy memories.

A Jezebel commenter writes:

Unless Target is treating me to free drinks and an evening of Chuck Norris jokes, I think I’ll stick to homemade, thanks.

Annals of Amoral Advertising, Part One: Target Despises Homemade Halloween Costumes

The Girl At The Side Of The Road

Do you know the story about the girl at the side of the road?

There’s this story about a girl- who for the most part is always trying to hitch a ride outside of a cemetery or an abandoned house with faded crime scene tape hanging from what is left of the front door.

And of course someone always stops for the girl, who is wearing a prom dress out in front of the cemetery, and they let her into the car.

She starts to tell the person who stopped to give her a ride how she is trying to get to a dance – and then she starts to say things about how dark it is, how cold she is, how far away from home she is

So as she starts to bleed from her ears, or sometimes a wound opens up on her chest and she starts to bleed from that, the driver races her to the hospital to get her help.

When they get to the hospital the driver runs into the Emergency Room to get help for the girl who is sitting there in her blood soaked prom dress and when they get back to the car the girl is gone, but on the seat is a dried up wrist corsage.

In the story the driver is told the story about the girl who was hit by a car or murdered as she waited outside for her date to pick her up the dance she never got to go to.

Now its time for a reality check.

First of all I don’t pick up hitch hikers, and for sure that goes for the ones who hang out if front of cemeteries and crime scenes.

But you know, somewhere somebody will- so I would suggest you watch this telling of the Girl At The Side Of The Road before you become that extremely unfortunate somebody and end up in a story told around Halloween about a driver who stops for no  in front of a cemetery one night…

Lets Go Whistling Past The Cemetery

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

 

I Love Elvira.

She’s funny on purpose.

It’s time for a change. For too long stations have shown crappy movies late at night with NO cool host to make them fun. Well despite rumors of her dabbling in witchery… Elvira comes clean and states her plan for change. This one’s for you, Christine O’Donnell….

Elvira’s Movie Macabre is nationally syndicated – Visit Elvira.com for stations and scheduled times in your area.

Elvira’s Video Channel

HERE

Photo: A.M. Moscoso

 

I did NOT love the movie ” Paranormal Activity”.

Not only was it NOT scary I actually paid full price to own a copy of  it.

I still have not gotten over that.

At the end of Paranormal – which was almost as dumb as the stupid fire scene with the Ouija   Board-  I sat in front of my tv and toyed with the idea I could take the DVD to work and leave it in the ‘take a book leave a book’ box- which at times people drop movies into- but I didn’t because I didn’t want to have one of my co-workers take that stinker of a movie home and get mad at me for smelling up their house.

So when I came across this clip

Paranormal Activity 2 Parody (Fakeboring Nightvisioncrap 2)

I swear to God, I heard the angels singing

a.m.m.

Welcome To My House

Photo: A.M.Moscoso

Sometimes I like to visit

the

House Of Hammer

aka

Hammer Films

HERE

 

Around my house

I love to watch those paranormal/ ghost  clips on youtube.

Some are fake, but darn it they are GREAT fakes.

I like this one because of a comment that a viewer left- they said something like

“Everyone run away from the haunted cup”

I thought that was great.

Plus the doll IS weird looking and I liked the story- I have to admit, I was hoping that we’d find out what happened to the dolls hands.

 

Sweet Screams

“A woman is sitting alone in a house. She knows she is alone in the whole world; every other living thing is dead. The doorbell rings.”

Thomas Bailey Aldrich  circa 1870:

“He sat alone in the dark, afraid. Someone put matches in his hand.”

A Ghost Story- Author Unknown

 

Walk Into My Parlor
– by Mary Howitt

“Will you walk into my parlor?”
said the spider to the fly;
“Tis the prettiest little parlor that you ever did spy.
The way into my parlor is up a winding stair,
And I have many curious things to show when you are there.”
“Oh no, no!” said the little fly,
“to ask me is in vain;
For who goes up your winding stair
can never come down again.”

On Halloween Night

I know a story about a guy who saw the Devil on Halloween Night.

Dan Moss wasn’t positive that the woman sitting next to him on the bus was Satan until she turned to him and  and said “Evening”

That’s when he knew.

” It’s you. ” Dan Moss said.

” Excuse me? ” Satan asked.

” I know who you are.”

The Devil looked puzzled. ” That’s funny, because I don’t know you.”

Dan Moss, who considered himself to be a good and righteous man, said to the Devil sitting next to him on the bus-” Well, you wouldn’t.”

” Hmmm. ” Satan said ” So, you don’t normally ride this bus?”

Dan Moss leaned over and hissed at the Devil, ” Quit playing stupid. I know who you are.”

” Look, really, don’t get offended but I honestly do not know who you are- I’ve never seen you before.”

” Want to bet? ” Dan Moss asked.

Horrified Dan Moss slapped his hand over his mouth.

” As a matter of fact, ” Satan said as she pulled a small black notebook from out of her purse and started to write in it ” I want to do just that Mr. Moss.” 

Pumpkins

lil pumpkin halloween special 31000 pictures, backgrounds and images

Pumpkins.

 

I love to plant the seeds

and care for my pumpkins as they grow.

 

When they are ripe and imperfect

 I liked to take them into my kitchen,

 where it is warm and cozy .

 

And then as my cats watch with curiosity

I take a knife and plunge it into my pumpkins

which

I have grown with tender loving  care

and scrape their guts out with a wooden spoon.

 

Sometimes I even roast and eat their seeds.

I like to make them crunch.

halloween nite abstract image pictures, backgrounds and images 

 

 

the pumpkin house halloween pictures, backgrounds and images

I Mean, No One’s Gonna Eat Your Eyes

“Your Brains”

Is

A little tune about Zombies and brain eating.

Yes,

REALLY

Heya Tom, it’s Bob,
From the office down the hall.
Good to see you buddy,
How’ve ya been?
Things have been okay for me,
Except that I’m a zombie now.
Really wish you’d let us in.
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demands,
But here’s an FYI – you’re all gonna die, screaming.

All we wanna do is eat your brains
We’re not unreasonable,
I mean no-one’s gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains
We’re at an impasse here,
Maybe we should compromise.
Open up the door,
We’ll all come inside and eat your brains.

I don’t wanna nitpick Tom, but is this really your plan –
Spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that’s okay for now,
But someday you’ll be out of food and guns,
And you’ll have to make the call.
I’m not surprised to see you haven’t thought it through enough –
You never had the head for all that ‘bigger picture’ stuff.
But Tom, that’s what I do,
And I plan on eating you, slowly.

All we wanna do is eat your brains
We’re not unreasonable,
I mean no-one’s gonna eat your eyes
All we wanna do is eat your brains