Costumes, Candy and an Untimely Death

Trick or Trick

Let’s imagine it’s Halloween, and you just ran out of candy. If the neighborhood kids (or anyone else, really) were to truly scare you, what trick would they have to subject you to?

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1973 was an infamous year in our family.

That was the year my Grandfather got into that accident on the Duwamish Bridge.

Something hit his card pretty hard from behind and his car was forced off of the bridge into the water.

That happened on Halloween Morning.

After the Police came by and told us that he was gone, where to collect his body and how sorry they were my Mom sent me and my brother outside to bring in the pumpkins.

She and our Aunt took down the decorations Dad was to busy to buy candy because he was talking with the Funeral Home  and for the rest of the evening relatives came by and our house went from Holiday to Mourning in less than three hours.

As darkness fell me and my brother could see our friends darting from house to house in their Halloween Masks made from plastic and swinging their Trick or Treat Pumpkins wildly in the air.

” Grandpa would say we should be out there.” My Brother said ruefully. ” He’d have bought us eggs and TP too. Grandpa knew how to do Halloween right. Remember the time  he stuck those fake heads on poles  Because Mrs Green gave us toothbrushes and apples?”

” Yeah. He said he was surprised the old bag didn’t hand out socks and underwear too.” I remembered out loud. ” And remember the time the Brices forgot it was Halloween and he helped us wrap their car in plastic wrap

Just then my best friend Prixie waved as she ran by our window.

I flipped her the bird in return.

” They’ll be sorry, we’re gonna get tricked for sure and you know who will have to clean up the mess right?” my brother said with some satisfaction in his voice. ” I’ll bet this time our house gets tricked and I’ll bet eggs and shaving cream are in our future. THEY deserve it.”

“Serves them right for keeping us in doesn’t it?”

” Right.”

We ran up the back stairs to our bedrooms- I put on my  thin plastic scary witch mask complete with scary witch plastic costume and met my brother  was dressed up as race car driver on the way back down.

” Your costume is dumb” I told my brother.

” You don’t need to wear an ugly mask he told me.

Then  snuck down into the basement and out the  basement door  that let us out into the  alley and disappeared into the chilly Halloween Night.

When we got back our family was stunned.

” Do you know what tonight is? ” they asked us all at once.

Actually they were yelling it.

” Um. The day Grandpa died.”

” Yes. ” My Grandma said patiently. ” It’s also Halloween “

” That’s why we went trick or treating. It’s Halloween.”

” And you two should have been home a half hour ago.” Grandma scolded us ” Kids your age shouldn’t be out after seven-thirty alone.

My Grandma took my plastic jack-o-lantern and shook the candy out on the table.

” I hope you two didn’t eat the good stuff on the way home…”

” Hey!”

” Your FATHER ” Grandma said pointedly at her son
“didn’t buy any candy and if we don’t have any of those chocolate bars your Grandpa liked-“

We heard a knock on the door-

There’s  going to be Hell to pay.”

The 511

They were two ladies- about the same age with the same  hair style and both had the same type of phone and both were riding the bus to work on what would turn out to be a very hot summer day.

The woman who sat close to the window looked over to her seatmate and smiled and said:

” I really like this phone, don’t you?”

Her seatmate looked up from her phone ( they had the same models ) and down into the hands of the woman who sat close to the window and she saw ” Proverbs” and lots of writing under Proverbs in bloody red bold print. The woman smiled. Her eyes were dark, her smile was darker and her voice was as cool and refreshing as first breath of Spring.

” I love it. You can find anything you need to know on this, can’t you? “

The woman near the window looked down and saw that the screen on her seatmate’s phone was black.

Her Dark Eyed Companion said,  ” You wouldn’t believe what I have on this thing. Notes. Pictures. More notes. It’s just chock full of what I need to make it through my work day.

They rode in a comfortable silence and then  the woman next to the window said, ” My name is Lia Anne. “

Her seatmate smiled. ” Embers. Embers Eastman.”

” You have a very interesting name.”

Embers shrugged. ” My Father has a very unusual sense of humor. For example, I wanted to travel. I ran away a few times. I was quite the upstart. He said if I liked traveling so much I could hit the road for the family business and do all the traveling my heart could stand. So here I am. Working the family trade. “

” Well you know what they say, Spare the Rod and spoil the child.”

Embers rolled her eyes up and shook her head.

” What sort of business are you in?”

” Import/Export. Do you know the Sardo Building on 6th and Main? That’s where my office is.”

Ember’s phone pinged and she honestly looked surprised. She turned and looked around and she even stood up and looked at the people seated in front of her. She shook her head and sat back down and then  she held her phone up and squinted at it with annoyance running rampant all over her face.

She made a clicking sound with her teeth  and then she pushed the little silver bar on the side and the screen popped up. When it flashed on she squinted at the sudden burst of light and read what was there.

” Oh hey. This is was an easy one and look here’s our stop.”

” Mine is the next stop.:”

Embers Eastman was  her father’s  protégé and his favorite child- which was hard for the people who knew them to believe. On her good days, it was said,  she even had his charm.

This was not one of those days.

She held her phone up and showed it to Lia Anne, ” Murdering your lover’s wife and killing her dog…her DOG Lia Anne is a sin. Now get up. Follow me. “

” No. I’m not going anywhere with you. You’re insane. “

 ” Very much so.” Embers assured her seatmate ” And if you want to see how bad I can really get, I can crawl into your skin like a maggot going to town on road kill and you can see for yourself exactly why Father chose me to go from one end of the Universe to the other to pick up the trash.”

” He keeps me as far away from pleasant company as he can.”

Embers put her face so close to Lia Anne’s it looked like they were going to kiss.

” You are not pleasant and you are coming with me.”

Embers pushed her palm against Lia Anne’s chest, just over her heart and they were gone- just like that.

Embers- as her Father would say-  was a handful but she was an efficient Little Devil when it came to doing her job.

Today’s Special

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Five a Day

You’ve being exiled to a private island, and your captors will only supply you with five foods. What do you pick?

This took me awhile to figure out. But when I did I went straight for my bathroom mirror and kissed my reflection.

:::DRUMROLL PLEASE:::

drum

I would take:

J sometimes referred to in some circles as G

( old , tough and  probably gristly but  it’s soaked in wine so I’m sure it’s  good for broth making )

C

( definitely good for roasting )

S

( a little of this goes a long way )

T

( Oh, why not)

and of course

E

( no taste at all- for garnish only  )

So is this me being clever?

Do I intend to take as many food stuffs with those letters with me to the nowhere place that I’m going to be sent to?

Uh.

No.

All I can say is, I’m well schooled in human anatomy, corpses hold no fear for me I’m one hell of a cook and I’ll eat like a queen till help arrives.

You know.

Help for me.

Not them.

For them it would be too late.

 tofu turkey

If I Only Had A Brain…Or Two

Clone Wars
If you could clone yourself, how would you split up your responsibilities?

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 Writing is about the only thing I can make myself do.

I can do it on my bad days, my good days even on days when I don’t have anything to say.

So if I could clone myself what crud jobs would I give my secondary me?

I’d have that ‘me’ do all my caretaking stuff- the day to day grind- the housework, the cooking- almost everything except for my day job and taking care of my cats and dog.

But the reality is, I hate that stuff myself and when I slack off I don’t feel bad about it.

So how would I get my clone to do it?

I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, me and my clone would agree to blow it off.

I know myself, if I don’t want to give I don’t.

However, I’ll bet if my clone and I put our heads together we could find someone else to do the work for the BOTH of us.

And The Truth Shall Send You Straight To The Principal’s Office

Truth or Dare
Is it possible to be too honest, or is honesty always the best policy?

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Of course honesty is the best policy.

Honesty earns you trust and respect.

On the other hand, we’ve seen honesty used as a blunt instrument in many a murder of the heart and mind haven’t we?

So, that led me to wonder, are you being honest when you take the truth, twist it around someone’s neck until they turn blue and their tongue pops out of their mouth and they are for sure dead?

I don’t think so, I think at that point you used honesty for your own personal gain that makes it a lie.

 

When I was a kid one of my classmates referred to me as ‘ the black cat sitting on a Cadillac’. It was a TV jingle at the time. But before you knew it I was being called a Black Cat by everyone…she would not stop. So one day I hauled off and punched her in the eye and ended up in the Principal’s office with my Teacher- who was very fond of grabbing me by hair on the top or back of my head and shaking it  from side to side to get my attention.

In fact, that’s how she got me to the office that day. Dragging me down past my classmates, other teachers and a janitor by the hair on the back of my head.

Nobody looked surprised.

So, we get into the office and the Principal and Teacher tell me, in all honesty ( they said )  that it wasn’t my classmate’s FAULT that I was different. I was told -almost kindly- by our Principal that I looked different and what I NEEDED to do was develop a sense of humor about BEING DIFFERENT from everyone else.

And then they brought my classmate in – with her Mother who they called right away ( my Mom got a note two days later) and told me I needed to apologize.

I looked into those self righteous  faces, and into my classmate’s smirking expectant one- and from the bottom of my racing little heart-  in all honesty-  and on the verge of tears said with amazement

” That shiner is a beaut, isn’t it?”

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